i would like to introduce myself,

I'm 23 Years old with 2 kids and been marrried nearly 4 years.
I first watched porn when i was 15, i found an unused phone lying around.
Since then i had used to fall asleep thinking all types of thing

My first encounter with Hzl was 17 years old when i used to wake up wet but i didnt know what it was. I only realised when the mashgiach gave some sort of mention to it but even then i wasnt 100% sure.

i only started deliberately like a year after my wedding when i didnt have a job and had some bad sholom bayis problems that i realised when i was down i could have this quick fix.

Since then i have an urge to look at ladies on the street etc.
I also have to masturbate when my wife is nidda at least once or twice.

i wouldnt call myself an addict but i really want to put this behind me forever.

Please help me out. Ive been reading this website for the last few weeks and see i could really sort it out.

welcome
youre in the right place

why do you wanna stop? what is your primary reason? have you told anyone? do you have someone you can trust?
are there specific triggers to your behavior?

Answering some of these questions can help people steer you in the right direction.

oh, and by the way, like I pm'ed you, being scared of hell won't get you clean. we all are somewhat scared of hell, but nevertheless, we keep on doing what we do.


welcome again

b'hatzlachah

Welcome!!

What have you tried to do to stop until now? and what have you seen here that you think could help you?

i told my wife recently that i used to masturbate and she was a bit shocked but understanding. she doesnt know that ive ever looked at porn etc.

i usually do it when im feeling down and depressed.

cordnoy wrote:

Obviously because hes "afraid of hell"... why am i the first one to figure that out!?!?!?

Welcome AOH! It's nice to have you with us. It sounds like dealing with stress in a healthy way will help a lot. From what you have told us, it seems that stress is the primary trigger. Have you read the handbook? What ideas have you tried? Keep us posted.

Lizhensk wrote:


i actually told him that as soon as he signed on
i pm'ed him, and said that the general consensus here is that being scared of hell is not enough of a deterrent for this.
i think he agreed and wanted to change his name.
he wasn't able to....

scared of hell wrote:


Why when it comes to lust do we think that we can put it behind us forever?

I thank you for reminding me how for years I was naive enough to believe that one day I would solve my "problem" or "beat the Y"H".

Someone asked me today why in SA I keep reminding myself that i am a sexaholic. Well, this is one reason. Today i am thankfully aware that i am a limited human being with character defects trying to the best of my ability to do G-d"s will today. That is humbling but at the same time liberating. But i need to remind myself all the time who the real me is, and not the me I would like to be.

It was a bit disappointing to come to terms with the fact that I will never become the malach i was sure I thought I could be, and that I would never be able to put the lust behind me! And yes, it took acceptance. But today with the help of my Abba I live a more real existence, one which I am very thankful for.

chesky wrote:

great stuff!

Nachman,

I see now that you have figured out how to change your name, as it used to be "SOH," and as we discussed in chat, that might not be the perfect reason to stop...at least for some. You seemed to agree and changed name. Today, however, I saw SOH back online; is that you, or is someone impersonatin' you?

Either way...it's been over a year now...how are you doin'?

I hope people subscribe to their own threads; this way (if they fell off the recovery train or truck), an email can shock them back to reality.

Ya' think he's listenin'?

Guess we will find out.

b'hatzlachah

WELCOME BACK!

Perhaps its time, as cordnoy suggested, to jump back on board!

Check out: Skep's tips for some fresh ideas!