this thread is also great, for there are many fresh boarders on it; keep up the posting so the pros can help you out.

bhatzlachah

There are no pros here.

We're all regular guys trying to do the best we can moment by moment, and sharing what we think works for us.

skeptical wrote:



Truth is that it should serve as a bit of a warning.Don't just take whatever some guy who you have know clue about's word for what's right just because he's on gye. Watch out for harmful advice.I hate to be such a party pooper but this is the internet so we should be careful.I do think that you can get to know a person through here but until you do, be careful.

Now that I'm done with my doomsday predictions,
Bechal levavcha,
I enjoyed that post, your writing skills are obvious.Please stick around and keep on posting (KOP)

inastruggle wrote:


first of all, do we have any idea who this guy is that we should listen to his advice? (he happens to be right though)

second of all, once you were editing you couldn't fix this "bit of a warning.Don't just take"

third of all "Now that I'm done with my doomsday predictions", I think that belongs on the kabalah thread.

and to everyone, KUTGW KOT KOMT!!!

it is true that its the internet and it is true that not everyone's advice should be taken; one should have a competent rav, therapist, specialist, etc.

some have the problem, however, that they don't have yet anyone to open up to

that is why posting and replying is helpful
it gives a person a better perspective, and eventually, he can go for some concrete help

I assume that is why there are guards and administrators around here, for if the advice given is not sound, they should say something

b'hatzlachah to all

Moderators are mainly for things that are inappropriate or violate the spirit of the forum or the Torah. They do not filter out wacky and goofy ideas . It's a salad bar. You pick and choose what to take. Some ideas are better than others.

This is the internet and BUYER BEWARE.

and since we care about each other, we probably should say something when we see one of those goofy or wacky ideas.
I mean, it shouldn't turn into yeshiva world's comment section, but a bad idea should be called out by others.

no?

sounds right, just needs to be done in a respectful way, very rarely is it done to purposely lead someone astray.

From the "General Rules":

2.) The GYE forum welcomes diverse viewpoints and creativity, provided that they are within (or at least not in conflict with) a Torah framework.

7.) No one may post anything that may insult, embarrass or offend another member of the forum. If this happens by mistake, the offender should be quick to apologize.

9.) Please exercise caution in posting details about therapy sessions. What your therapist recommends for you may be completely inappropriate for other people.

10.) We encourage everyone to share what works for them, or how they view recovery. We ask, however, that no member "put down" or "prove wrong" or "discredit" any other approaches to recovery that may be working for other members. For example, the 12-Step program works well for many members of our community. We have had to block members in the past who repeatedly tried to discredit the 12-Step method on our forum, causing a lot of machlokes and confusion. It is Ok to ask questions, but it is not Ok to continually insist on discrediting any method that works for others.

thanks mendel
much appreciated

I was thinking more along the lines of chats and pms that aren't moderated or in view of everyone else.In my experience that's where a lot of the advice on "big" things gets given.
I don't think that anyone here or at least anyone who posts frequently is malicious but sometimes a guy can try to help when it's out of his league or just give advice which isn't all that great.
Also I'm reminded about two things, one is that someone once told me "i'm glad I found gye when I did if I would've found it earlier than I definitely would've used it the wrong way". And another thing is an old post I saw once where a guy said that when he came here it was because he imagined that the guys here "would be like shooting fish in a barrel".

It's the internet, we have to use caution and seichel, if you think somethings wrong then speak up.

I don't want to take away from how amazing this site and the people on it are.I'm just saying to not trust every person you meet right away.Chances are the guy you meet is a tzaddik since he's here working on himself but just be wary for that little chance that he isn't that way.

That's all..

welcome aboard

I'm flattered and elated that my thread had sparked so much interest
and no, I wasn't giving advice
I wrote what works for me, and my entries here are just my way of reaching out to others
and of course part (of my way) of thinking things thru
I hope to clarify, at least for myself, what the diffrences are between THEN and NOW

toras chaim - I appreciate your comment
and like skeptical wrote, there are no pros when one is up against the YH

I have a few minutes to continue my story,
we are moving very soon, but I will try to add a bit every few days
(perhaps this should be on a different forum? just let me know...)

I'm married with 8 children
I live in the Holy Land, came here as a bochur and stayed
like I mentioned, I fought this addiction as a teenager, had access to dirty magazines
(for someone who lusts, ordinary newspapers and magazines are also treif) and regularly acted out
otherwise I was a good boy in yeshiva, what they call in this country a "yeled tov yerushalaim" (you learn something new every day...)
step by step Hashem helped me to reach a point where I was clean for nearly twenty years
without GYE, handbook, or group to share my plight, thoughts and aspirations
I didn't look at dirty pictures and kept far away from all triggers
How did I do it?
what worked for me?



I filled notebooks, scribbled on scraps of paper, kept journals. My pen was my best companion.
I did this for several reasons.
One was to open myself up. If I couldn't bring myself to share my inner self with others (still hard for me, but I'm trying... ) at least I had a handy "forum" to always turn to...
Two was to clarify. I would tackle a topic and wring it until dry. I wrote essays and expositions on issues that plagued America and confronted the Jewish world.
Three was to give me chizuk. I had no where else to turn. I couldn't bear to breathe a word of my problem with another living soul. I drank up whatever words of chizuk I came across and expounded on it.
Four Perhaps most important of all, writing excercised my mind. I developed thought processes, formulated logic and delineated lines of reason. Hisbonenus is a tool used by Jews all over in helping oneself exert mind over matter. My pen became the microscope to view reality by and the pickaxe to discover truth.

Did this really help? Did it cure me? Did my struggles vanish forevermore?
No, it did not go away. I struggled and continued to struggle. But it definitely helped. Certainly for those minutes that my mind honed in and formulated a response to some burning issue, I was clean. Squeaky clean. Not only was I not staring at inappropriate material, but even better - the feeling of accomplishemnt lingered on, another essay to add to my repository, another bout against the YH won. The hours spent writing were spent well.
I grew and my self-control "muscles" grew.

to be continued...

Fascinating!

Looking forward to hearing more...