The high of orgasm from masturbating is NEVER worth the feelings of regret after.

Tonight I once again fell, met a stranger for sex.
Before it I was on autopilot, like a remotely controlled zombie unable to prevent it.

But I did something tonight for the first time.
In the middle of sex I realised what a load of nonsense it was, how I had no feelings for the other person and how it was a sin.
So I immediately stopped, put my clothes on and ran out of the door.

She was furious but so what?
It felt good to me to do that, to realise my mind could control my lust, even though the lust won the battle at first, I was able to fight it and not orgasm either.

That was the main thing I got from it, that I was able to exercise control even though I was chasing the endorphin hit of orgasm.
Chazal say a man should run from "Glory" but in this case I want to tell you all about what I achieved!

I am not complacent, it is still right for me to guard my Brit day by day, even hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute, but...

The war can be won.

Baruch Hashem!

Thank you for sharing your victory with us.

On to the asei tov!

I obviously do not know all the details of last night, but it is extremely impressive.
it would do wonders for a confidence level if one can be koveish when he is in a tight spot.
thank you

b'hatzlachah

Deleted

Get your confidence from knowing that you have the strength to not even go to the parking lot of the club.

Look at it this way-the Rambam in Hilcos Teshuvah describes teshuvah as being able to walk away from such a situation.

Thanks for the messages of support.

To CORDNOY: Of course it is best to avoid being in a place where sin is more likely.
But I hear you, we are people who struggle with our fantasies.

Our Yetzer Hara can take us to places where sin is likely.

I just pray that my story can show that even if one finds himself heading to such a place, or is actually in the place, it is never too late to run away from it.

The Yetzer Hara tries too fool us to believe "In for a penny in for a pound" i.e. "I have started sinning so I must continue as I have nothing to lose now that I have started sinning".

But this is just the Yetzer Hara trying to fool us.

We owe it nothing!

George 999 wrote in part:

"The high of orgasm from masturbating is NEVER worth the feelings of regret after."

This is the issue that all of us have to confront.

I am wondering if you have considered SA meetings or the calls on GYE website?

I personally found that I was caught in a cycle of falling -> chizuk -> falling -> feeling bad -> more chizk -> gedarim (safeguards) -> slipping -> falling harder -> more bad feelings -> more chizuk -> and so on ....

I found that I need something else.

SIB101854 wrote:
No, the issue we have to confront is that even though we know that, we do it over and over again, knowing full well that we will regret it, yet we cannot stop.

Or said simply. We know we have to stop, and we know that we cannot stop.