Cordnoy,
Thanks for the advice. I will try that.

roundabout wrote:

Not the first time, won't be the last .

roundabout wrote:

ok. Have a great Shabbos!

we will resume next week. shabbos in a few minutes.

take care
hope things go well
good Shabbos

[im not getting the replies sent to email the last few days; is it only me?]

7 days, and not counting. one day at a time.

It has not always been so easy. I keep getting these impulses and fantasy spurts...Trying to understand the true meaning of surrendering vs. struggling

finally called SA hotline...left a message, waiting for response.

I just finished reading a great article on this site:12-step-workshop-with-harvey:
guardyoureyes.com/the-12-steps/item/12-step-workshop-with-harvey
Very insightful.

I have lots of questions for the oylam, hopefully, I will have time to formulate some of them.

Thanks guys for all your support.

that is a nice article
thanks for sharing
looking forward to your questions, and the answers from this helige oilam

hatzlachah

Thanks cordnoy.

I am really enjoying the automated 90 days chart. It helps me focus on that one day at a time thing. I look forward to pushing the "I am clean" button at the end of the day. This is my goal - to be able to really push that button.

But my sex drive is getting powerful. Trying to surrender, but its challenging.

gotta get some sleep.

roundabout wrote:


tryin to surrender to what?
hope not to sex drive.
but based on the other thread, you are waitin a few days for right time

may Hashem be with you

cordnoy wrote:


Good line!
Well, I am trying to surrender my lust, as they advised.
But the truth is this is one of my questions. i don't really understand what surrender means. From what I am gathering from the 12 steps experts, it is learning to rely on Hashem to remove the lust. This is not our business. But we still have to be the ones to make the decision not to act out.
I should really open a separate thread to clarify this point. This is fundamental to recovery.
And if I can get into 12 steps, it will hopefully be easier to understand these important yesodos.

Anyone notice that the 90 day chart suddenly changed today?
I like the new look and feature set.

Update on SA - I called hotline, got through, the guy gave me the number of another guy. I called this guy who gave me number of another guy - but this guy's phone is off. I tried again and again. OK, this is not easy as I thought.

But the good news is my chart shows I am day 10.

I like that it's in the same style as the new site.

But there is much more going on there, a little confusing. I'll probably get used to it though.

roundabout wrote:


If you still Haven't gotten through, i would sugget calling the hotline again.

(unless you live in the UK, in which case i can give you lots of contacts.)

Thanks Moishe. I did tried and finally got through, but it seems to be wrong number. The guy asked me not to call this number again.

A forum member offered guidance privately. I will keep you all posted.

On a bad note, I fell on erev shabbos. Had wet dream accompanied by some crazy rated-x dream. I woke up in a panic. And all day, I was bombarded with bad thoughts. I just didn't know what to do with myself. I figured I will write on forum and let it out, but the forum was broken. And so...I succumbed.

Oy, I am disappointed with myself.

But the weird thing is that I sorta felt relieved. I know this is very dangerous.

Tisha B'Av was good. It really helped me focus on my priorities in life. A great day for introspection as we contemplate our destiny, and how little me is supposed to fit into the master plan.

Keep moving forward!

its a question i have sometimes,

why does hashem set up a situation that he knows i'll fall, for example the one time you needed the forum it was down and without chizuk its almost impossible to hold back,

sometimes i am bombarded with triggers, when i didnt even do anything to get them, He just lined them right up in my sights as i was turning to look before i cross, or he let my wife forget that one time to remember to lock the ipad at home, when she usually does a good job remembering, it just so happened that as she was leaving the baby started crying and her phone rang from the doctor and the ipad just happened to be upstairs and...

its almost like its not fair,

God, throw us a frickin bone here!!!

He knows how hard we are working!

anyone have any thoughts?