WE ALL JUST GOTTA CALM DOWN.

LIKE SERIOUSLY. TAKE A CHILL PILL. BREATHE, RELAX. CALM DOWN!

No need to worry about the past or the future or even the present. Just chill everything's gonna be alright.

deep slow breaths. we get so worked up. Lust takes up so much energy. Just relax and let the worries flow out the window with the lust

WE ALL JUST GOTTA CALM DOWN

This is a very special shabbos for me! This Parshas Korach is my anniversary for 3 years of me starting to keep shabbos!!! BH, it has been incredible. I honestly don't know what i would do without shabbos. It allows me to take one day off from my life and just chill.This is especially important for me as i get very stressed. This time 3 years ago was when i committed to growing and start my journey of a frum life which has been AMAZING. I have met fantastic people and have had fantastic experiences.

This is also an important parsha for a lot of us here because we have Kavod (Honour) issues. Korach yearned for honour. He wanted to be Moshe. He wanted to be Kohane Gadol. But look what happened to him. He ended up in a pit. Just like we are in a pit. We are in a deep pit that could get very deep if were not careful. We would just be screaming that Moshe and his Torah are true BUT not that we actually follow it. We would know its true like Korach who screamed from the pit but none of it rings true.

But we have all found GYE and we must forgo our honour because ME isn't whats important. Hashem is what's important. Moshe and his Torah are important. Its hard work but we are slowly making our way out with Hashems help Baruch Hashem.

Thank God!!

Life is GREAT! I am trying to calm down and take everything at a slow pace. We often rush our emotions but our situation usually aren't too bad! I am focusing a lot less on lust and just trying to live life. I find that if i a even obsessed about addiction, its not good for me. Yes i fully admit i am a sex addict and i absolutely must be careful, but the more attention we give lust, the more it runs my life. So, I am trying to change, nice and slow.

I am also attempting to bring Hashem into my life more. Simple things: thank you Hashem for this. Please Hashem help me with this. Simple one liners.

I am not perfect and I make a lot of my mistakes but in general, I am moving forward. I am definitely trying to keep a good attitude. Sometimes bad thoughts come into my head: what if this? or OH NO, I AM HOOPED! or how can i do this? but I gently swipe those thoughts away and just concentrate on right now. What can i do right now.

Ah! Deep Breaths, Deep Breaths. Everything is going to be just fine!

This is late but i thought it would be good to post.

Last week's (yesterday's ) Parsha we read how Bilam wanted to curse us and he did everything he can: built mizbeachs, various offerings etc. and then he tried cursing us. But the words that came out of his mouth were good! They were blessings. Bilam was so confused. He kept trying and trying but whatever came out of his mouth was bracha for the Jews.

What can we learn? That ALL THE RESULTS COME FROM HASHEM. We could try so hard, and hard, hard. But we must realize its all up to Hashem. We must do Hishtadlus, yes, but this Hishtadlus (heard from Rav) is just showing Hashem that we care. Hashem decides if we don't fall, or we fall.

So what does this all mean? Well this is exactly what surrounding is. We come to Hashem and say my life is in Your hands. You are the decider, not me. You make the results happen not me. You are the King of the Universe not me! And You know what is best for me.

How can we bring this down and apply it to our life? WE TAKE A CHILL PILL! We do have to work. To make a living, for family, for recovery. Its true. Hard work is needed. But at the end of the day, its all about to Hashem. Which means we can relax. Let Hashem deal with it. Jeez. The Earth is heavy. Our backs aren't made for that big of a load.

SO Let's breathe, relax and take a chill (Hashem) pill and soak up this beautiful world that HE CREATED FOR US!

Thank you for the thought.

Can you just take it one step lower please and talk to us addicts for a moment?
What would you like us to do?
What shouldn't we do?
What is up to God, and what isn't?
If we fall, we should chill?
If we don't fall, we should relax?
If we fall five times in three days, we should breath easy, for it is all up to God?

Perhaps that wasn't the point you were addressin', but if it was, please elaborate.

Thanks

Great questions. YES. I truly believe not matter what we have to be relaxed. Getting angry, frustrated, even really inspired to change and not fall, will not help us. We have to calmly go through our day. Not matter what happens to us: we must have a calm demeanour, We have to take a deep breath and keep moving forward. Instead of focusing on our problems/what's wrong, we should focus on the solutions. But even then. we must realize we can't truly do it. Hashem is in control not us.

Hope that makes more sense.

PS. this is what has worked for me. Maybe others have different feelings but for me, i have to relax.

Thank you for the explanation.

It is not my nature to go back n' forth on this site when there's a disagreement of sorts, so I will leave it at that, especially cuz' for the most part, I agree that one who doesn't act calmly will not accomplish much.

Regardin' your initial post, you wrote: but this Hishtadlus (heard from Rav) is just showing Hashem that we care. Hashem decides if we don't fall, or we fall.

That can't possibly be true. What happened to bechirah/free will?

Thanks

GREAT QUESTION. I asked R. Dovid Gotlieb this question. (He's a philosopher/logician) He says that we do have bechira "in our head" but only Hashem makes it happen. For example, I want to take 3 steps but Hashem may make it that i fall down on the second step or perhaps I will see a friend on the first step.

Thats as far as i understood it. Its very complicated and wayyyyyyy above what we need for recovery. Lmasseh, we do have free will, yet Hashem is control. For now, I am comftroab;e with saying I don't understand plus my Rosh Yeshiva was fond of saying: "A jew has to live with Steeras."

In any event. We must do our hishtadlus but we also must be calm. This is how i understand it, at least.

Thank you for being calm Cordnoy

2 things occurred to me:

Yesterday, some disgusting mess happened in my house and i had to clean it up. It was gross but I had to do it! Even though i didnt feel like doing it, i must do it. Its a requirement. I transferred this lesson over to recovery. Somethings I really don't want to do but i just have to do them anyhow because they are required. For example, I must do my assignment. If i don't i will lose marks. I would rather do other things, even if they are good for me: Learn, exercise, BUT right now i need to do this assignment. I need to JUST DO IT! I making to much of a deal out of it. LETS JUST GET IT DONE!

For the past little while those night falls (subconscious falls) have plagued me. Now, there is nothing i can do about them while i am subconscious but I have a feeling that my lack of guarding my eyes has helped cause this problem. SO, i propose a solution for me. Everyday,during Modeh in shacharis I thank hashem for 3 things. But lately I don't give much thought into what it is i am thanking Hashem for which defeats the purpose of the exercise, So throughout the day I am going to ask myself: what can I thank Hashem for?
And pick 3 of those things. WHAT CAN I THANK HASHEM FOR? What am i able to extract from my INCREDIBLE life that i can appreciate?

WOW! It is really working! Asking myself what can i thank Hashem for? I ask myself this whenever i am looking for some lust. It helps me remember that lust is an illusion. Seriously, what pleasure do i get from it? Also it reminds me that Hashem has given me so much. There really is so much to be thankful for: shade, the sun, my family, etc

sounds great!
i enjoy your thread, thanks

Guys, I have been struggling the past few days. No, Not with Lust but with Life. Thank God, Life has been superb and currently i am trying to actually be on schedule with school and not do it at the last minute. Its hard. My problem lately has been spending too much time on news sites exploring the happenings in Israel. OY! I have spent over 2 hours on Friday and over 2 hours today just looking at videos and what not.


Deep Breath

SO I AM DONE! Not with news, but i feel like a behama. I want to live. Be an avdei Hashem not an avdei news. NO i cant control. I am sooooooo outta control. But i am taking a deep breath and going to actually face my challenges not shy away from them and Bezras Hashem, He will help me.

Deep Breath

AH! That feels good. Nice and calm. One step at a time. One little step!

ok now that you're as cool as a cucumber, maybe share with us your next step

Yeah, How'd it go?

Please share!

Baruch Hashem, its going well.


I didnt look at the news yesterday. I did do quite a bit actually in the morning/early afternoon. I think i have more potential to do work in the morning. Late afternoon, was not so good. I was just scurrying around here and on Torahanytime.com (highly recommend BTW) which is not bad of ofcourse but i did have stuff to get done. I reached out to someone and he said what do you have to do. I answered and he said so do that. AND I DID! I just did it!

We have so much potential but we just go through life thinking we cant, we cant or i don't want to. We just have to DO IT! AND MOVE ON!

Interestingly, it wasn't even hard. It literally took 20 minutes.

So, this is what I did and need to do. Reach out to someone, take a deep breath, say everything will be fine and JUST GO FOR IT. I HAVE THE POTENTIAL.

We need to change our attitudes from we can't to WE CAN. YES WE CAN! ( )