You will be fine.
You will make yourself and your Boreh proud.
This year will be different.
You have a different approach.
You know you need to surrender your lust to Hashem.
You know you need to take it one day at a time.

That includes today.

Don't get too worked up about what's coming up.

Just do today.

Dov wrote:

Omg did this ever get to "Dov Quotes"?

Realizing that porn and masturbation are a substitute for intimate relations with your Eshes Chayil strikes me as a very important step. Once you realize that "what happens in your bedroom stays in your bedroom", to paraphrase an advertisement about one of the Avis Avos HaTumah of this Malachus Shel Chesed, and you and your wife are totally open and supportive of each other, you have a built in support system and source of inspiration who will help you realize what is really important and the source of all emotional intimacy, and will be able to take a huge step at working on your addiction. The term Akeres HaBayis is an amazingly apt phrase for what a wife in a Torah observant family expects and deserves in setting a tone for Kedusha in family life.

SIB101854 wrote:


Thanks for your advice, Im not married yet, so maybe that's why it sounds goofy to me. But Ill make sure to re-read this when I married. Working on addiction with my wife? I hope it wont have to get to that... One day at a time

Anybody know if this fellow is still around?

He is very much still around.

He has committed to stay off the internet (except for once a week, if needed)

He is still in touch with the OINK chevra back in the Holy Land.

I'll let him know you asked.

Dov wrote:


I usually hide behind a * and 6...

Avrohom

Avrom wrote:


Avrom; let me bring this thread back again. It was last year this time when it was revived. How are you?
P.S. what was the World War about? I forget. [I have so many of 'em.]

b'hatzlachah

I think I will forget my "Never Again" and ask HKB"H to give me his brachah of "never again" one day at a time.

These guys still, still here anybody?

cordnoy wrote:



Hi!!



Feels good to back here, even though I feel a bit strange.. All these new features and modern design are not the GYE I grew up with.


Let me first answer your question: shortly after Yom Kippur I did fall. But looking back, it wasn't a fall at all. In fact it was the start of a new era. I will explain what changed in just a minute. Before I do that, I will share some good news I'm sober for 1 year!!!
It's very exiting. But I'll try to forget about it when I get to the next line



What changed with that fall after Yom Kippur ? It became ok. Yes, I accepted that if I just would continue acting out - it's ok - because that's who I am. And hey, I'm doing what I can to change - but until I'm actually successful in getting sober I don't have to beat myself up for every fall. That's how I've been for the past ten years - and just because I decided that it's enough, doesn't mean that I will stop right away. Change is a long process..
So I acted out a couple of more times. I felt terrible. BUT I didn't feel like a piece of crap anymore. And slowly bit surly my recovery began... (See other posts)




Having revived this post I want to share some insight to the original question I asked so long ago: Will I ever be totally free???
It still gives me the shivers.. I think the answer is: Who cares!!!
Truth is I am still haunted by fantasies and horrible thoughts. I am not free. I need to watch myself and use the tools and tactics for the way I'm now. Perhaps the day will come when I will be "totally free". But it makes no difference for now. Now I am not "totally free" and that's all that counts.



I won't be back for a while,
Until then I wish you all The best and lots of Hatzlacha,
Avrom