WOWOW!

What an amazing report!!!!

BTW how did you push all these things in, in one little shabbos?...

My Rabbi once told us when we came to tell him some good news, why people only come to me with all the problems, but never really come back to tell me the good news!!!...

Keep up your great work!

lookingforwardtochange wrote on 15 Jul 2012 18:39:


Reminds me (as usual) of a joke (or rather, a riddle):
Q: How can you get 25 hours in a day?
A: Simple! Get up an hour earlier.

Anyhow, dear LF2C, I don't know which time zone you're in, but here the Shabbos is not so little. Firstly, since I was anticipating a good nap in the afternoon, so I got up 6:00 AM (sforim hakdoshim tell us a secret that rising early shabbos morning and learning gives us a taste of the heavenly pleasure of Olam Haba - try it). That gave me enough time to take a dip, drink a coffee, and learn for about 2 hours undisturbed (except for the einiklach playing in the background - no problem - aderabah!). The Shabbos meal was over at 1:30. I spent some quality time with the family. I napped for over 2 hours. I ate lots of watermelon. Then I learned in the ocean breeze (ahh) for over 2 hours, then I had a little Shabbos party, and still came early to Mincha and learned some more.

Bekitzur, if you make a plan beforehand (of what you want to accomplish), and you are careful not to let those hours slip away, there is more time than you realize.

Which reminds me of another riddle:
Q: How do you fit 4 elephants in a little Volkswagen?
A: Simple! 2 in the front and 2 in the back.

MT

Mt
About elephants.
Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: one bite at a time.
Good lesson for us here.

And another elephant one:

Q: What time was it when the elephant sat on the fence?
A: Time to fix the fence.

Good lesson about fences, i.e. gedarim.

MT

I think last one I know,
Q: how do u eat an elephant?
A: with a fork.
Lesson, uve got to just dig in! I.e. start somewhere

I'm loving these elephant jokes. Thanks MT for the quote of sefarim hakedoshim about getting up early on shabbos I am definately going to think about trying that this week

I'm trying not to post about green elephants....
I'm trying not to post about green elephants....
I'm trying not to post about green elephants....
I'm trying not to post about green elephants....
...
OK I give up....
http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3348.msg95093#msg95093
;D ;D ;D

All elephants aside, it seems that not only you didn't have to white-knuckle it, you actually enjoyed your vacation.
Isn't it what it is all about? Quality of sobriety, not it's duration?
And nice to hear that you feel accountable to GYE chevra. That's the power of tzibbur over yochid.
Hatzlocho on your journey upwards.
Oh, you know, another thing. Without boasting or getting too vivid, what were some nisyoinos you had to deal with? The particulars will give us chizuk, and they will also insure that you don't "store" the temptations for future use, when the GYEers are not around to expect a positive vacation report.
Make sense?
Mottel

obormottel wrote on 16 Jul 2012 15:24:


Dear Mottel

I would love to share about my nisyonos. But I am not comfortable posting it on this forum. Unlike an SA meeting in person, this forum is open to the entire world, and one never knows who is reading (or will eventually read) your post. Maybe you have no problem with that, but I do. (Please read my upcoming PM.)

MT

How true, MT.

1- So many people in very deep trouble come here to post about their struggles with their yetzer horas - so they are obviously not addicts, at all (yet). But addicts have already lost (that's what the 1st step means) and are guaranteed to eventually lose again no matter how hard they try - which is why they can actually depend on Hashem and be sober one day at a time instead of depending on themselves and just call it depending on Hashem (you know, ilmolei ozro eino yachol lo, that it's not kochi v'otzem yodi, etc, etc)...and they will have a very hard time indeed (and they do!).

And

2- so many people who are not in deep trouble come here to become better people. They are not anything like addicts - they are normal! They seem to just have the good seichel to realize that they (as we all) have a yetzer hora for - among many things - sex and lust. And that we need help sometimes! And they know that's OK! Ashrei chelkom. Many of them do quite well, it seems - as long as they remember important things like ilmolei ozro eino yachol lo, that it's not kochi v'otzem yodi, etc, etc, which are the truth for them.

And

3- There are many, many other categories of posters and onlookers here on GYE, b"H. People who will learn about techniques that they need; some just need gimmicks; some need to learn of SA or other feelowships of recovery; some will learn of a shrink they need; some of a new sefer or Rabbi that will help them; some find a new friend he or she can talk with on the phone that will start a process rolling - a process of five to ten years finally leading them into the thing they really needed all along. It's all OK. Patience is needed. Hashem loves His world so much. That is why He is so patient - that is why he allows so much darkness, sheker, apikorsus, and terrible suffering in this world even though all that is a bigger chillul of His Name than pornography will ever be...He is patient. He lets us (the world) come to True Teshuvah in the end of all....at least that is what I think we Jews are supposed to believe. And so I and others do.

So, sorry about the rant, again. But we cannot post dirty details here on GYEs forum, lest those who do not need honesty and recovery are poisoned by the truth. The truth about me involves many things that cannot be understood except by another recovering pervert. So I seek them out and share with them!

In other words:

Kol dichfin yeisei v'yeichol (if you are truly destitute - an addict - then dig right into the smelly truth and get honest with other addicts) - but kol ditzrich yeisei v'yifsoch(if you just need a little help, then jump right over the dirty truth and take hold of kedusha and chizzuk, instead!)

Thanks Dov,

Your vort at the end is gevaldig and really summed it all up (for some people like myself, a Torah-based vort penetrates deeper than all the ranting and raving). I followed your advice - I seeked out some qualifying individuals and shared some honesty with them.

Tizkeh lemitzvos,

MT

The following excerpt is from today's Hamodia page 6


Maran Hagaon Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt”l - Glimpses of Gadlus

Those who basked in his presence marveled at Harav Elyashiv’s lofty level of kedushas einayim.

“A father came with his daughter, and they sat right across from Harav Elyashiv. After they left, I approached Harav Elyashiv together with another person, who referred to the father and the daughter who had just left.

‘I didn’t see any daughter’, Harav Elyashiv said.”

He had the ability to totally control what his eyes would gaze upon. When he chose to, he was able to look straight ahead and not see more than twelve inches before him, the Rav said.

Which took a TREMENDOUS amount of effort and exertion I'm sure.

I dont want people to get a chalishut ha'daat like I do when I hear stories of gedolim (some gedolim books etc.)
(Not that I dont get inspired its just that I want to be where they are, RIGHT NOW. and of course that isnt possible. It takes alot of hard work and time)

It probably took effort to get to that point, but then I'm sure it became second nature.

It is gorgeous what a man he was and I get such chizzuk from being in the same race as he, zt"l. Like those who said referring to R' Yisroel Salanter - that one who saw him could never believe that humans are just a higher form of primate...

But just for the record, there are no reports or indications at all that Rav Elyashiv zt"l was a sex and lust addict. It seems he was pretty fully integrated person from his youth, b"H.

[Now, over the next few years there will undoubtedly be some currently respected people who are great in Torah learning - and very sick - and will eventually make their way out of gehinnom and into recovery. But probably the gedolim we know about are not of that ilk...boruch Hashem. But those times may be over soon. Pity our grandchildren (moshiach zohl kumen).]

So whatever he achieved is no real ra'ayoh for me about sex addicts. Our journey seems to be by slightly different means...all to the same end, or doing Hashem's Will. But for regular Jews - definitely a ra'ayoh! But not for people who are in recovery.

Is it possible that we addicts in recovery can achieve the aspect of purity that he did (in that story above)? Absolutely yes! But in terms of the process, I believe that we are still apples and oranges. Still fruits, but very different. The derech that normals use in order to achieve these great things are often way too toxic for frum addicts like me. They tend to reawaken our self-will, self-obsession, and self-righteousness, all l'Shem Shomayim. And next thing you know, people like me are off to the races again acting out or raging again, R"l, and wondering what happened... ???

It's OK, for addicts can get those things too, but the path is sometimes quite different. There are some recovering people who normals would consider truly great tzaddikim - but they usually get their 'madreigos' as gifts. Ah biss'l ahnd'rish...

Sorry if anybody thinks I just wrote something very stupid. Love you anyhow...

Good Shabbos!!