Hi everybody,

After almost 6 months of observing this forum as a guest, I finally decided to introduce myself (...painfully shy - even in anonimity). I'm not a youngster - over 40 years on the roller coaster; so obviously my addiction started long before the internet. Like many of you, I've tried and failed over and over, but B"H never gave up. Until finally Hashem helped me discover GYE. I had a good streak of 168 days which ended this week (still not ready to say "f-e-l-l"). I am starting again be"H. The following is my 3-point plan, based on what I learned on this forum.

I am using a Mishne in Pirkei Avos to remember these 3 points:

Im ein ani li mi li - I must avoid all forms of lustful images and thoughts at all times.

Uchshe'ani le'atzmi moh ani - I must surrender my lust to Hashem and pray and ask for his help.

Ve'im lo achshav eimosai - Forget about yesterday or tomorrow - one day at a time.

Looking forward to meet you

MT

Welcome MT!
I put in well over 30 years of active addiction myself.
Your plan sounds hauntingly familiar to steps 1-3.
Love the way you worked it into the mishna.
Can I add one thing? Think about working the rest of the steps. And I look forward to your retro-interpretation of them into a mishna.
Alex

Can someone explain to me a little what it means to surrender the lust to Hashem ?

Dear Alex,

Pleased to meet you. Intersestingly I developed my 3 steps even before discovering GYE.
Step 1 is based on Ohr Hachayim parshas Acharei (18:2)
Step 2 is based on Chasam Sofer (5 vols) parshas Ekev (8:18)
Step 3 is based on Likutei Maharan (I:272)

Once on GYE, I discovered that these steps are in fact what is being stressed over and over (e.g. 'bulletproof shmiras einayim...' by alexeliezer )

BTW Alex, I want to personally thank you for being my role model at this point. I have read and re-read your story of over 30 years pre-GYE and then 3 years of solid recovery based primarily on these 3 steps. I look forward to remember that constantly and hopefully to follow in your footsteps (forever - for both of us).

And yes, I will think about working the rest of the steps - but as on a ladder, we start from the bottom and work our way up, right?

Thanks for acknowledging my presence (I was beginning to wonder if this forum is real, or only my imagination), and keep in touch.

MT

Dear Evedof...

Nice to meet you.

I will leave the 'official' interpretation to those with more experience and familiarity with the 12-step program. However if you can look at the Chasam Sofer which I quoted previously, you will be amazed to learn that although we are considered to have bechira (free choice), but that only applies to our ability to 'want' and to ask Hashem for help. But it is not in our power to actually overcome the YH without His doing so for us.

So we must do our part in realizing that, and then Hashem will surely do His part.

Take care and hatzlacha

MT

Welcome Machshova Tova!
I'm quite new here myself (I also was a guest for months) and you should know your not the only one who's shy. It must be very hard to be able to pick yourself up after a 168 day streak and I'm impressed at how your picking yourself up so quickly. Also thats not a "good" streak, Thats an awesome streak!! I would recommend printing out the Handbook, not that I've read it myself (still a newbie) but from what I have read it looks like it'll help tremendously.
As a fellow newbie I want to encourage you not to be shy and reach out/if you have something thats on your chest that you need to get off, do it. It'll be hard but the relief is well worth it
Wishing you much haztlacha and a Sabat Salam and a Gut Shabbos and a Shabbat Shalom!,
Seven Up

Hi Seven Up,

Thank you for the welcome, the chizzuk, and the good wishes.

I have printed and read the handbook (cover to cover) as soon as I discovered GYE, and it is truly a goldmine. I keep reviewing it very often. Also, when I posted (on the Wall of Honor) about the end of my 'awesome' streak, GYE sent me a link to principles 24-30 of the handbook, which helped alot to regain my bearings.

And yes, posting and sharing feels so great that I kick myself for not doing so earlier (and maybe I could have avoided... but we do not dwell on yesterday, right?).

Have a great Shabbos & all the best

MT

Hi everybody,

One of the things I love about this forum is that I can talk (i.e. write) to myself with the knowledge that others hear (i.e. read) what I am saying. The advantage of this is that it makes me think more clearly and more honestly. And if I say something foolish, maybe somebody will set me straight. And if I say something worthwhile, maybe somebody will cheer me on.

So B"H, moving along a day at a time - or rather a moment at a time. Vigorously avoiding all lustful images and thoughts, and asking Hashem for his assistance. My friends, I have been down and I have been up - being up is much much better. How can one compare heavenly pleasure to a filthy disease?! Try it! You will love it!

I would like to share a powerful 'vort' from the Tiferes Shlomo (vol 1 Shabbos Chazon), which brings out the importance of davening every single day for Hashem's help in this battle:

Chazal say that R’ Tzadok fasted 40 years that the Bais Hamikdosh should not be destroyed. So how come his tefillos were not accepted? The answer is that his tefillos were indeed accepted. R’ Tzadok davened every day that the Bais Hamikdosh should not be destroyed that day and his tefillos were answered (until he became too sick to continue). One cannot daven today for tomorrow - one must daven every day for today.
Concludes the T”S - this is a lesson in avodas Hashem. We need to daven daily for Hashem’s help against the YH for that day. We cannot expect to daven and be helped ‘once and for all’. As the possuk says -
וְיִהְיוּ דְבָרַי אֵלֶּה אֲשֶׁר הִתְחַנַּנְתִּי לִפְנֵי ה' קְרבִים אֶל ה' אֱלֹקינוּ יוֹמָם וָלָיְלָה ... דְּבַר יוֹם בְּיוֹמוֹ:
Kol tuv,
MT

Always good to remember. Being in recovery taught me to approach all of life with more of a one-day-at-a-time attitude. I still do plan for the future, but I'm learning to live more in the moment. That's all we ever really have.

A thought occurred to me this morning while walking in the street (and practicing shmiras einayim be”H):

(Parshas Shmos) Hashem says to Moshe Rabeinu, “Tell the Yidden, my name is “Eh-yeh asher Eh-yeh” - I will be with them during this golus, and I will be with them during future goluyos. And Moshe complained “Why mention future problems. Enough to deal with those when they arrive.” And Hashem agreed, “Just tell them “Eh-yeh sent me.”

The sforim hakdoshim (I think from the Chozeh of Lublin) say that “Eh-yeh” (I will be) is a holy name associated with doing teshuva. i.e. regardless of my past deeds, Eh-yeh - from now on I will be good. Based on that, I think we can say (and perhaps it was already said) that at first Hashem said Eh-yeh asher Eh-yeh - true Teshuva is when a person takes upon himself “I will be good now and I will be good always”. But Moshe the faithful shepherd interceded and said, “Why overwhelm them about being good for long periods of time? It would work better if they concern themselves only with being good for a day at a time.” And, lo and behold, Hashem agreed and said, “Okay, tell them ‘Eh-yeh’ is the way to go - I will be good today - I will overcome this nisayon”. A day at a time - a nisayon at a time.

Best wishes to all of you.

MT

Like!

Thank you Gevura - I like you too

Hi guys!

Last night during Krias Shma Al Hamita, the following occurred to me:

כָּל-הַמַּחֲלָה אֲשֶׁר-שַׂמְתִּי בְמִצְרַיִם לֹא-אָשִׂים עָלֶיךָ כִּי אֲנִי ה' רפְאֶךָ

Firstly, 'hamachla' is a singular term, as if to refer to a specific disease.
Even more so, HA-machla with Heh Hayedua indicates a well-known disease.
So let's see what is a specific well-known disease attributed to the Mitzriyim?

רש"י פ' לך לך (יב:יט) שהמצרים שטופי זמה הם שנא' (יחזקאל כג) וזרמת סוסים זרמתם

The Mitzriyim were first and foremost afflicted with the disease of lust addiction.
And Hashem promises us that if we do our part and try to behave properly, He will shield us and heal us from this disease.

Amen, kein yehi ratzon!

MT

Hey I love the dvar Torah and will think of it every time I daven. Thanks so much for a good start to today!!!!

Hi guys! B"H still alive and kickin' - hope y'all ok.

Part of my current daily strategy (bl"n) is to share at least one thought-provoking piece on this 'Good intentions' site, and to try and reach out to at least 1 or 2 comrades (unless I cannot think of anything constuctive to say)...

A yid came to the Rebbe of Sanz (Divrei Chaim) zt"l and complained that his YH gives him no rest and he is constantly tormented with impure thoughts and nisyonos. The Sanzer Rebbe yelled at him, "Nu, lozt men zich nisht!!" (i.e. you must not let yourself be overcome by the YH)

I was always bothered by the Rebbe's reply. Did he think that evereybody was on his level to be able to just say 'no'?

When I discovered GYE, I discovered the 'amkus' in the rebbes reply. You want to overcome your YH? Nu, LUST men zich nisht!! Stay away from all forms of LUST and you will succeed be"H.

(See sefer Magid Maishorim where the Malach tells the Bais Yosef, "The pshat you said yesterday in the Ramba"m is very nice. And although it is not what the Ramba"m had in mind, but he nevertheless has hano'oh from your mehalech.)

MT