I just read your story and found it amazing how much of it reflects what it was like for me until not too long ago. For me too, the worst form of the yetzer hara came from the stories. I think my issue was that a story can be twisted by the mind to new plot lines, etc. I have a great imagination, so my mind can use the stories at will. This is what I still struggle with, to not recall what I've read and seen. B"h, it's gotten much better, using your advice of "saying" to the memories when they pop up that, "while I see that you're here, I'm not interested. Go away". It has helped me so much. Thanks for the chizzuk, and stay strong! we're in this struggle together. We can do it!

I once heard (i think maybe in the name of the Shela"h?) why the Shiur of a Mikva of 40 se'ah is described as "Mayim Shekol Gufo Oleh Bahem". That the meaning of "Oleh" is Bittul, like "Trumah oleh b'echad uMeah". Because a person's body takes up 20 se'ah so we are mevatel it in twice as much water.

So when we Toivel in a Mikva we are actually physically being mevatel our bodies!

The holy sforim also say that when we crouch down under the water, we are folded in three, just like an unborn infant in the womb of its mother. When we emerge from the water it's as if we are born again.

MT

kilochalu wrote:


Kilo? What's UP with you and kollel gimatrios anyway?

Which reminds me, gotta send you an email about my gimatria...

TehillimZugger wrote:


I have learned from a very great Talmid Chochom, and mekubal, that contrary to popular misconception, the idea of "kolel" in a gematria does not just simply mean that a gematria can work even if you don't manage to get the sum exactly right, and that there's an "error allowance" margin of one (or sometimes more - [letters-words- etc] in the calculation of gematrias, which may be the reason why many people may look at such "kollel gimatrios" with a certain amount of disdain,
This concept, which has it's source in very early seforim, has very deep meaning to it, which would take me quite some time to explain, so let it just suffice for me to say that "there's alot more in it than many people know about.

IMHO, Kabbalistic topics should not be discussed on public forums. The Chid"a writes that divulging hidden secrets of the Torah is one of the causes which lead to sexual sins.

Hayom Shiva Ushloshim Yom....

Machshovo Tova wrote:


Can you please give me the source details of where i can find that in the writings of the Chida.
tyvm

shivisi wrote:


Sorry I do not have my sforim at work (and I don't have GYE access otherwise). But I believe it is in his sefer Avodas Hakodesh. He has a whole chapter dedicated to tips (do's and dont's) for shmiras habris.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:


HAPPY GEVURA SHEBYESOD!

Today is your day - we look forward to hear a few words from you on this momentous occasion.

Hatzlacha

MT

Yes MT (mazal tov) mr GS!

Keep on MT (monstah truckin) with us!

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:


mazal tov youngster...I didn't chap at first.

Many more iy"H....sober days.

b'hatzlachah

OK so the Oilam is clamoring for a speech...

The truth is I don't really have much to say. Today is a day just like any other. The same triggers, the same Nisyonos, the same opportunities to choose. One minute, one sight or fantasy at a time.

But I do want to once again thank all of you for helping me along the way the past 3 years. Without the support and companionship I found here I would have been totally lost. And thank you for all the Mazeltov wishes.

Oh yeah...


And...

Mazal Tov for today! That is all any of us can hope for. Not the rest of our lives, not this year or this month or this week or even until Shabbos, just today(One Day at a Time - it has a nice ring to it, no?) The sooner i learned that the sooner i was able to start living and Gevura it is nice to know that you know it to.
KUTGW and all that.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD!
chaimyakov

Happy Sefira Day!
thank you for being such a special member of the forum, helping and supporting whenever you can and for giving free monsta' trucking lessons
yedidcha,
Jerry