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TOPIC: hello my friends.... 99531 Views

Re: hello my friends.... 28 Dec 2022 13:40 #390181

iLoveHashem247
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 28 Dec 2022 05:47:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 11 May 2021 03:36:

All good things must come to an end…
I’m so embarrassed but I have to do this…
I fell last night

don’t have time for a detailed post. But it’s been building up for a while. A confluence of stress factors in my life, slacking off on being vigilant in these inyanim, and generally falling into feelings of loneliness and isolation again. Slowly circling the drain, risking more peeks, looking at “borderline” material. Not being careful about touching. Letting myself fantasize about people I see. A few days ago I had an intense wet dream, the first one in years. That should have been a warning sign that things were getting out of hand. And last night I just let go and M.
ok time to get back in the truck. Pump up the tires, check the brakes, clean the windows (maybe that’s not such a good idea…)
hayom Yom echad…

Pointing out here how this Gargantuan Monstrosity of a Tzadik fell after 7 years clean and got right back up.

‏שבע יפול צדיק וקם

hi, I’m ILH and I’m an addict ~~in denial~~

Challenge accepted!

If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi!
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone.

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Re: hello my friends.... 28 Dec 2022 14:15 #390183

YeshivaGuy
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iLoveHashem247 wrote on 28 Dec 2022 13:40:

YeshivaGuy wrote on 28 Dec 2022 05:47:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 11 May 2021 03:36:

All good things must come to an end…
I’m so embarrassed but I have to do this…
I fell last night

Pointing out here how this Gargantuan Monstrosity of a Tzadik fell after 7 years clean and got right back up.

‏שבע יפול צדיק וקם

It’s a great quote which we like to throw around, but this guy actually did it

Re: hello my friends.... 28 Apr 2023 14:57 #395098

eccentriccomposer
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 11 May 2021 03:36:

All good things must come to an end…
I’m so embarrassed but I have to do this…
I fell last night

I just saw this post and find it absolutely amazing and inspiring, thank you so much!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Eccentric Trip to Freedom
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Re: hello my friends.... 03 May 2023 17:40 #395295

cordnoy
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 03 May 2012 19:22:

Today's Chizuk email featured a translation of the crucial Ohr Hachaim in this week's parsha that discusses the extreme importance of guarding our eyes and our thoughts. I am quoting what I think is a very relevant section:

And if one should ask, "How can a natural person be in control of his desires which "force" him to act? After all, it does not make sense that Hashem would obligate all men equally to guard themselves in this area, only people who can stand up and have the will power to deny this desire! And these are people who never came into the tests of seeing improper sights and thinking lustful thoughts. Only for such people did the Torah command these Mitzvos. But for people who already fell into these things, it is naturally impossible for a man to control himself and hold back from this craving that forces him to act!"
To counter this claim, Hashem wrote in the Torah with pleasant words of life, and the Parsha of Arayos starts out with the words "Speak to the Children of Israel and say to them, I am Hashem your G-d". For it is true that in the human race, besides for the Jewish people, they can claim this complaint and say that they did not find it in their strength to deny the power of this intense desire from themselves. However, with you, the Children of Israel, because I am Hashem your G-d - that is, you can achieve understanding and awareness of G-d - and through this G-dly strength, you will win over the natural physical drives.

The mind can control the matter. So when a Jewish person accepts upon himself to be "one" with Hashem his G-d (di'veikus), he will be in control of his nature. As Chaza"l say, "The hearts of the Tzadikim are given over in their hands, but the hearts of Resha'im control them". The meaning of this is, that desire and lust are in the heart of a man, yet his "will power" is in his mind. And these are the two levels that the Master of the World has given man (to work with). And when a person sees something of a sexual nature, his heart will crave it, but this is not the end. The "will power" in his mind can deny himself the desire and he will not act upon it, even though he covets it... And that is the meaning of the words "For I am Hashem your G-d" (in the Parsha of Arayos). This means to say, that since Hashem shines the light of his Shechinah into the soul of a man, through this, one has the strength to win over his desires with his 'will power'...

I believe that this thought, especially the part I highlighted, is particularly crucial for those of us with SSA. The world out there is bent on convincing us that it is our identity, our essence, we are "born this way" and cannot change. They claim that it is genetic and any attempt to change our "orientation" will only cause us harm, and insist that our only hope is to give in and embrace the "lifestyle".

They may be correct, for them, who only believe in the physical. But we are different. We have the power of "Ani Hashem Elokeichem", and we can overcome the Teva as it was created in us and rise above our desires, as strong as they are. That is the mission we have been given.

Gevura!

Written 11 years ago today, and still as true as ever.

It got me thinkin' - many of us believe that orientation cannot be changed, and at the same time, it is still our responsibility to overcome our desires - if they are faulty. My question is: Can a fetish be changed?

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Re: hello my friends.... 03 May 2023 17:57 #395296

Foolie Current streak: 78 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 130 Karma: 12	In my experience speaking for myself I don’t believe that a person can change their fetishes. How strongly a particular fetish impacts you can change over time it can ebb and wane but the basic fetish remains

Re: hello my friends.... 03 May 2023 19:46 #395302

Gevura Shebyesod
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My understanding of this has become a little more nuanced. True, we probably can't change our orientation (or fetish or just crazy libido), and one could claim that Al Pi Derech Hateva it is impossible to resist acting on it. But Hashem gives us the power of self control on a super-natural level. Not necessarily to change our orientation, but to do the right thing anyways. The Middah of Gevura....
...וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

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