dms1234 wrote:


Dear dms1234,

I am married for longer than most married people around here. Yet I am not a member of the bb forum. Why? Because I find the whole idea (of sharing bb-oriented stuff) very triggering. One of the things we need to learn in our quest for recovery is to be satisfied with our lot and not to let our curiosity lead us into dark tunnels that may prove dangerous to our lives. So please don't let it bother you, just as we cannot afford to be bothered by all the stuff out there that seems so gevaldig but is actually poison for our system.

Focus on living the life that Hashem gives you and enjoy it!

Hatzlacha

MT

Thank Cordnoy

MT: for the life of me (until I am married) I don't want to have acesss to the BB forum. Your guys' struggles are incredibly difficult and I really feel for you all. I don't want access, just when there is a an inside joke or some reference here that I don't get Becuase it's on the Bb forum I get frustrated.

But yes you are right. I will be happy with my lot and soon enough (in the right time) I will have accessand read more your wonderful stories

"All the commandment[s] that I am commanding you today"

Notice that Moshe does not say sommndments in plural, rather in singular form. The Sifsei Kohen therefore explains that the only commandment that Moshe has to give Klal Yisroel is that when any decision whether to do the right thing or not, comes up, one should see it as if that mitzvah was only given today and was never done before!!

עיין בספה"ק נועם אלימלך ליקוטי שושנה על הפסוק ואתם הדבקים בהוי"ה אלוקיכם

i actually saw this same idea friday in noem elimelech and figured i will post it here on this thread then i see the idea is already post so i'm just giving another מראה מקום

I was thinking that we see chazal say hayom means rosh hashanah. Maybe the idea is that the whole secret of rosh hashanah and teshuvah is to learn the idea of hayom = today.

"ואברהם זקן בא בימים"

"And Avraham was old, coming with days"

The Alter of Slonim observes that there are different types of people, there are those that waste their days and at the end of the day (or week or year or life) they look back and regret how they used their days and wish they had used them better. There are others that are constantly thinking about future days, worrying about what will happen in the future. Both of those do not coincide with there days, the former comes after his days and the latter before his days.

Avraham Avinu lived in the moment, he lived at the same time that his days were there, he did what he needed to do and what could be done at whatever time was present, hence "he came with his days"!!

Jacob assembled his sons to give them his blessing before he died. The exact words of the Torah are, "He blessed them on that day" (Genesis 48:20). What is the significance of the fact that he blessed them on that day?

We may translate the verse to read, "He blessed them with that day." Jacob gave them a blessing that they should live their lives on that particular day in which they find themselves, unencumbered by the burdens of the past and without assuming futile worries about those events which are not subject to change at the present.

This is indeed a blessing. If we would only channel our energies toward doing that which can be productive, instead of squandering them in trying to make yesterday better, or worrying about possible eventualities about which we can do nothing now, how much happier we would be!

Rashi in this week's Parsha (for us in Israel) bring down a mashal to explain what Shemini Atzeres is, "Similar to a king who invites his children to spend time with him for seven days, when the seven days are over, the king tells his children "your leaving is so difficult for me, please stay with me for one more day""

The question is famous, what does the king gain from spending another day with his children, on the contrary, the greater the love the more difficult the separating will be?

I had a thought, and I, BH, found that R' Simcha Bunim Ehrenfeld (son of the Chasan Sofer) says it already.

We finish the Yom Tov season packed with mitzvos and spiritual aspirations, but then reality starts to hit, we are going back to the normal days, where there is so much more distraction and we're not as busy with special exciting mitvos, how do we keep that relationship that we felt during Tishrei?

"עכבו לי עוד יום אחד - stay with me for one more day" Hashem tells us "If you are asking yourselves "continue to stay with me? How will we be able to do it?!" the answer is "יום אחד- one day" don't look at the entire time from this Yomm Tov until next and all the obstacles that will come, just stay with me for one day, just for today, and that way we will be able to hold our relationship"

Nice, Thanks for the chizuk. (although, yom tov with all it's mitzvos and spiritual aspirations, seem to leave plenty of free time to slack off. At least to me ).

Devarim 4:4 וְאַתֶּם, הַדְּבֵקִים, בַּה', אֱלֹהֵיכֶם--חַיִּים כֻּלְּכֶם הַיּוֹם But ye that did cleave unto the LORD your God are alive every one of you this day (Mechon Mamre)
The Ma'Ayanah Shel Torah quotes the Rav from Alechsander who explains the pasuk the following way.
וְאַתֶּם, הַדְּבֵקִים, בַּה', אֱלֹהֵיכֶם You who want to be close to Hashem (the opposite of addiction) but are being held back by the Yeitzer HaRah (addiction), just tell the Yeitzer חַיִּים כֻּלְּכֶם הַיּוֹם just today we are alive (chayim atem). Like the maamer chazzal hayom kan umachar b'kever-today here and tomorrow in the grave. Just today I want to serve Hashem.

One day at a time.