How long before Dov sees this and blows a gasket?

Wow BB!!!
That is some Bekiyus!!
I could only imagine what would be if you weren't so blind?
Keep Shteiging!!!

PS - Please see my post in the Balei Batim's Forum. That is where this all started........

It's been a while since I last read that Teshuva (last summer) but I don't think he said that the Issur is not De'Oraisa. His point was that the Onesh of Misa is not mentioned in the Torah.

so reb dov, what's your knowledge about whether it's d'oraisa or not?

Dear Chosid,

You asked a good question, thank-you. This is something I thought about a lot during the years I acted out and used such things. The truth is, I could not stop doing it. I simply could not live without it. The reason I stopped had nothing to do with whether the Ribono Shel olam din't want me to look, or not. Because: I couldn't stop, even if the possuk said exactly what you are asking, word for word: "Thou shalt not look at p*** images of any kind, even in 'Sears' catalogues" for example. As far as I know, there is no evidence that I could have stopped if I heard even Hashem Himself tell me not to do it.

And I would not be surprised if your are exactly the same as me in this respect.

This is not a critcism of me nor of you, nor of Hashem! I simply could not stop. The proof I have, is that everything I did with all my koach to stop, failed, for years and even at the cost of great loss. This included medication, three shrinks, five or more rebbi's, a severe auto accident, and daily shame, regret, and fear. It simply never occurred to me - during almost 15 years of getting worse - that I need to do whatever it takes to stop or I will die. When it finally did, I got the help I needed and stopped. I still need to do things to stay stopped, and my life is wonderful now, I am with the Ribono Shel olam even more than I thought possible, my marriage is transformed and beyond anything we ever thought we could be zoiche to before.

Your question, innocent as it is, reminds me of what they say in the name of tzaddikim: A person can learn and daven many hours of the day, be honest kehalochah in business, make brochos w/two coverings on his head for food and nizhar in shabbos, etc. Then we ask him when he spends time thinking about the Ribono Shel olam and he says: Who has time for that? I am too busy being a yid! Tell me, besides our guilty, shameful moments, when do we feel completely alone, in secret with Hashem yisborach? In a place nobody else knows? Not just thinking about Him like a math problem of getting change at the store or because we happen to be in krias Shma and saying the words "Havayah echod" - I mean thinking in a relationship - just like you think about your wife, or someone you are speaking with? Simple, plain emunah chushis: "We are together, Hashem and me, and of course that is just great! The Master and boirei is with me right now." When do we think this? When does anybody? The question you ask is the same as asking: what is wrong with a yid who keeps kol ahtorah kulah but has no individual relationship whatsoever with his Tatteh en himmel? The Chovos Halevovos makes it clear that the goal of the world, the Torah and Mitzvos, is to create a individual, beautiful, personal relationship with the Borei Olam inside the living heart of each and every yid. When I was doing the sick stuff, I had only a guilt-yearning type of relationship with my Tatteh, very confused and very useless to all around me and perhaps to myself as well. That is the "possuk" that says it is "ossur" to look at what you ask.

Who cares if it is an issur deoraisa, derabbonon, or none at all? Do you really care? I challenge you to try to stop. If you can't, then sorry but it is ruling over you and you are serving it and not the Ribono Shel olam. We are not chesboning about an aveira issue here, at all. We are talking about living like a nut. (Actually, as a chosid you should understand because the chidush of chasidus is about the unwritten part, the motivation to keep the halocha and the relationship with Hashem, not halocha itself. Every litvishe kept and keeps halocha. No?)

Nothing I have written is personal, or critical in any way, just an observation - this is how it is with me, should I decide to let go of my recovery program and forsake myself. May Hashem help us all do the best we can with His help. I was not able to get His help until I worked the 12 steps because my life depended on it. Period. No halocha issue here, just plain 100% pikuach nefesh. I love you and hope you understand what I am writing, heilige yid.