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On this board, everyone is encouraged to share their journey through the 18 tools of the GYE handbook and get Chizuk and answers from everyone else here as well!

The GYE handbook provides a systematic framework for breaking free of this addiction. But just reading it alone won’t do very much if we don’t “work” the tools therein. So after reading through the GYE handbook once, we go back and start again from the beginning, this time taking it slowly and giving each tool a lot of careful thought. Have we tried the first few tools yet? What parts have we still not tried? Do we have questions, comments, doubts about any of the tools? Slowly but surely, tool by tool, day by day, the GYE handbook - together with the group support of this board - will provide you with the best framework possible for systematic growth and progress.
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TOPIC: need idea 10422 Views

need idea 29 Jul 2015 10:49 #260490

I am trying to implement the taphsic method but I can not think of the perfect kabbalah. The examples given in the pamphlet will not work for me. If anyone has any ideas if they can please share.

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 11:37 #260491

  • berelfiner
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If you could explain why not it could help you and others to think of different ideas.
"טראכט גוט וועט זיין גוט"
Your positive view of the future will actually make the future positive!

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 11:58 #260492

Fasting is not an option because I will dehydrate very easily and will not be able to learn or function especially now in the summer. Losing money will not stop me because I am not married and therefore have zero expences and a lot of money saved up. As a matter of fact I tried it a few years ago and ended up losing hundreds of dollars without any success. Telling somebody is very risky and I am afraid I will not be omed in it and c"v might break the shevuah.

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 12:06 #260493

  • berelfiner
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How about Half an hour or an hour learning bli hefsek. (In a closed room with phone turned off) or chazer a perek mishnayos ba'al peh?
"טראכט גוט וועט זיין גוט"
Your positive view of the future will actually make the future positive!

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 12:41 #260495

thanks very much berel finder for your help and support. The problem with going to the kotel,learning,kivrei tzaddikim,saying sefer tehellim etc. is that when I get hit very strong with lust the y"h will rationalize with me to be mz"l or look at p*** because then I will be able to be mekayem a big mitzva. By the way I do have a kabbalah that helps me a little bit of not putting milk and sugar into my coffee for an extended number of days. I am not asking people to sit down and break thier heads for me. I am just looking for a stronger more powerful kabbalah so I posted here in casde sombody already had an idea in the back of thier heads or used alternative kabbalohs

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 13:11 #260498

  • cordnoy
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Why not forget the whole thing and work on the issue.....What have you tried in the past?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 16:45 #260508

I only tried the money and the no milk and sugar in coffee I am afraid of trying something to hard in case I cant do it and I will be oiver on the shevuah

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 19:38 #260521

  • lomed
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I never did the tafsic method as i did not feel it will work for me. However dealing with others including students, I came to realize that the point of a consequence is not the large or strong consequence. it is rather the amount of times you have to do it. Lets say one will take a knas of $500.00, I would rather suggest him that he give $5.00 for ten consecutive days. The fact that for 10 days he will be reminded about the consequence may be more powerful than the large sum. or for instance instead of doing 2 hours straight of learning, i would suggest 10 minute a day of mishnayus for ten days.

Only my suggestion.
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 19:58 #260523

  • peloni almoni
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guarding613 wrote:
I am trying to implement the taphsic method but I can not think of the perfect kabbalah. The examples given in the pamphlet will not work for me. If anyone has any ideas if they can please share.


2 IDEAS THAT WORK FOR SOME - feel free to tweak to your satisfaction
1. one week eating only bread and water and taking completely cold showers
2. fasting for a beha"b - but water is allowed (i found this harder than a regular fast)
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום

לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז
__________________________________________________________
LINKS:
- SOLUTIONS: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO GYE
- DOWNLOAD GYE HANDBOOK & READ AT LEAST TWICE
- OVERDOSE OF DOV: READING MATERIAL TO KEEP ME SANE
- THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM; READ, POST, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME
 

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 20:10 #260527

  • cordnoy
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guarding613 wrote:
I only tried the money and the no milk and sugar in coffee I am afraid of trying something to hard in case I cant do it and I will be oiver on the shevuah


My comment was based on the opinion that you are barking up the wrong tree.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 20:47 #260535

My comment was based on the opinion that you are barking up the wrong tree.[/quote]


I am not sure why this is barking up the wrong tree. Do you mean that I should just do instead of spending so much time planning? By the way thank you peloni almoni very much I like your ideas a lot.

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 20:55 #260536

  • cordnoy
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guarding613 wrote:
My comment was based on the opinion that you are barking up the wrong tree.



I am not sure why this is barking up the wrong tree. Do you mean that I should just do instead of spending so much time planning? By the way thank you peloni almoni very much I like your ideas a lot.[/quote]

while some people gain with this taphshik method, it seemed/seems to me that you should be focusin' your efforts on recovery.
what is my problem?
why am I not happy in life?
Why am I moody?
What are my fears and resentments?
Why is lust my drug of choice?

Just my humble thoughts.....
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 29 Jul 2015 20:56 by cordnoy.

Re: need idea 29 Jul 2015 23:06 #260543

  • peloni almoni
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[quote="guarding613" post=260535]

By the way thank you peloni almoni very much I like your ideas a lot.


my pleasure. you liked my ideas maybe you will like my advice as well: TAPHSIC is great for the extra push. but its aim is really to treat the symptom, דהיינו acting out. make sure you have a real plan in action to treat the cause, דהיינו what causes the lusting in the first place. that is where the main focus shoud be, and taphsic אגב אורחא קמ"ל for the extra push to make sure you dont ruin recovery by acting out. focus on the עיקר. remember the mishna:
זה הכלל, כל שהוא עיקר ועמו טפלה, מברך על העיקר ופוטר את הטפלה

could be you are doing this already. in case you are not, i felt it worthy enough of mentioning כפי עניות דעתי
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום

לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז
__________________________________________________________
LINKS:
- SOLUTIONS: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO GYE
- DOWNLOAD GYE HANDBOOK & READ AT LEAST TWICE
- OVERDOSE OF DOV: READING MATERIAL TO KEEP ME SANE
- THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM; READ, POST, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME
 

Re: need idea 30 Jul 2015 07:45 #260569

cordnoy and peloni almoni suggested that while the taphsic method is a good tool to halt the acting out still the main focus should be uprooting the cause. This means trying to figure out Why am I not happy? Why do I feel empty? agitated? But I don't understand I like p/// I enjoy m//// I get a geshmak out of it thats why its hard to stop. If someone is getting a geshmak from eating candy and he becomes addicted (if eating candy was an addictive behavior) are you going to say that he should figure out why hes depressed. Also it's nothing that I am inherently aware of are you suggesting that I go to a therapist?

Re: need idea 30 Jul 2015 13:06 #260574

  • cordnoy
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No real problem then.
If life is good, and you enjoy porn, why bother stoppin'?
don't see a therapist for eatin' too much hot n' spicy garlic pickles with gelunkinde mayo unless it bothers you and it drips all over your clothin' and it's gettin' on your nerves and you really wanna stop.

Oh....the big bad aveirah and gehinnom and the guard by gan eden and the tumah, learn 15 minutes of mussar every day, speak to your Rav/Rebbe/Mashgiach.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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