I've been thinking of opening a thread about this issue for a while, I thought I'll figure myself out, but it's just not working so I'm opening this thread for ideas tips and any advice people can share to help out with this or similar situations:

So I wake up in the morning, usually in pretty much good spirits, but within a few seconds, sometimes a minute, I find myself fantasizing like crazy, replaying in my head p... videos I've seen in the past, and can sometimes be within inches of falling off the cliff, BH I havent fell to P&M in the past 116 days, but I still cant figure out a way to avoid this battle.

Now when I go to sleep I don't experience any bad thoughts anymore, I'm overall not thinking or fantasizing of women at all throughout the day, I don't have any dreams of women during the night, it's just something completely unexplainable that happens only in the morning after waking up.

Also I'm not the kind of guy who just jumps out of bed right away, I've tried that but it's just a bit too hard for me to do, I've contemplated trying the TAPHSIC method that if I don't jump out of bed within 30 seconds of waking up, I'll rip up $50, but I know it'll maybe help me for a few days maybe weeks, then I'll just fall back, and I don't think more money would make a difference.

So I need help with figuring out a way to willingly (not a money incentive) jump out of bed, or figuring out a way to stop experiencing these fantasies and replays in the morning.

I'm aware that some will say that I'm not fully awake and its subconscious, which has some truth to it, I'm definitely not in the state of mind to run to my second natures of calling or texting people for help, but still I wish not to slip either...

Any advice, tips, help, or if you have the same or similar issue, please I'd love to hear whatever anyone has to say on this topic.

rebakiva wrote on 08 Jan 2025 17:27:

I'm glad you opened the conversation. I just posted about this struggle and just knowing that I'm not alone in this is soothing

One tip is not to worry about it too much.

Thoughts are thoughts. They happen. If you don’t bring them on you’ve done nothing wrong. The main thing is not to dwell on them. It’s important to understand that making a big deal about it is a way of dwelling on it. You can notice it and move on. 

The changes you have made take a while to penetrate fully to your insides. And the part of you that still hankers after the stuff is still looking for what it used to get.

Remember, Reb Akiva, it took many many drips from the water to break a hole in that rock!

This will change, with Hashems help, if you keep doing what you’re doing.
These fantasies will get less intense and less frequent as you continue your journey of cleanliness.

Relax,
You’re special and on your way. It won’t take 24 years, don’t worry.

Love,
Chaim

Shalom Brothers,

I've got another tip you might try. It's hard not to think about something, particularly so if you are actively trying not to think about it. *Don't think about a smiling purple demon.
Since a person can't think about two things at once, think about something else instead. Learn something before going to sleep and try to recall it in the morning. Maybe it will help.

Hatzlacha and Kol Tov

you can try saying modeh ani out loud as soon as you are awake. celebrate that hashem believes in you and gave you another day to accomplish. sometimes i will say it twice....

rebakiva wrote on 08 Jan 2025 17:27:

Interesting because I find that while the urges ares still extremely intense and difficult to overcome, the fantasies have gotten a little easier overtime. As Cham Oigen said, just move on to a different idea. I actually have a list of sugyos that I am not learning as part of my regular sedarim but I enjoy that I start looking into when I am dealing with one of these fantasies. I do not push it away . It goes on it's own as I delve into whatever sugya it might be.

Maybe think of something you really enjoy that you could do in the morning for just a few minutes that will get you out of bed. It can be something that isn't the first thing you do but that you have to get out of bed immediately in order to have the time to do it.

Good luck man