Hi there, dearest friends! 

As there has been an awakening of sorts in the area of getting the knowledge of the resources available known to the public, there were certain ideas discussed offline, and I'd like to bring them up here for the oilam to brainstorm

I hinted somewhere about a radical idea. Here it is, perhaps with it's reincarnation.
But before we go there, I'd like to get to the background

Dearest friends, we have all suffered at a certain time in our life, maybe for years. Suffering. Struggling. Alone. Am I normal? Will I ever stop this? We've all been there. And then, G-d, in His infinite mercy, led us to GYE. And we have found help, hope and healing. We are BH going days, weeks, months, maybe even years of cleanliness. Of sobriety. 
But dearest friends, so many people out there are suffering, and they haven't a clue what to do! They don't know that there are resources! That they don't have to be alone! 

Now, if you came here, if you were helped here, and Hashem gives you the ability to help others, you must give back what you were given. We must do what we can to help spread the knowledge of this resouce.

So, what CAN we do?

After reading proudyungerman's letter, there was a thought that many of us had. We have to let the rebbeim, Rosh yeshivas, rabbanim know about this fantastic resource! This way, when people come to them for help, they can send them to a place that works

So, it was suggested that we have a group of people who were helped here get together and go down to a rav or two that are in the position that their influence is felt across a broad swath of klal Yisroel, and the effect of these people telling him, "we were helped at GYE. It works! Please share this with rabbanim, RYs, rebbeim, lay leaders, get the word out there!" would hopefully hammer home our message, and he would share that with people who come to him

I know it sounds radical to some. We actually got a whole group maskim to do it.

L'ma'ase, without going into the reasons in public, it doesn't seem like the way to go.

So, instead, here's proposal number 1 for now.

Please, if you can choose a rav or rosh yeshiva, maybe one that doesn't know you very well, maybe one that knows you very little, and tell him what GYE did for you! I know, it sounds a little nuts, but dearest friends, how else will they know???? From where will they hear what GYE does? How powerful is the effect of a person coming in and saying "This helped ME!!!!". And do this once every 30 days.

It is up to us to spread the message! We can't shirk away from our responsibility. If you mamash can't, I understand. But think about it. Maybe you could? Maybe if there's a visiting rav or rosh yeshiva you can share it with him? Maybe when you're in a different city than the one you live in you can go to a rav, rosh Yeshiva, etc. and share? Maybe you can find another friend, and the two of you go together? As I wrote, I did this with rabbi Wachsman. The effect was tremendous. I hope he'll share the resource now. And each of us has to find rabbanim or rebbeim that we can share with, so they will know that there is hope and help.

Please rabbosai, share your thoughts. 

And then go find someone to share this with...

eerie wrote on 02 Jul 2024 19:38:

I think its a fabulous idea. To add or change a little, another option is to theoretically give the letter anonymously to your Rebbi/Rav along with a Google Voice number, where he can reach you for follow up. In a way once, he reads the original letter without you there, and than hopefully reaches out to you to shmooze about it, it can make future conversations about GYE much easier.

Now, I know GYE advertises. And they need your tzedaka money to keep doing so. But there is absolutely no comparison to seeing a generic ad in a newspaper, to hearing from a person who looks like a normal, healthy person that he was helped. And he describes how it helped. The effect can be tremendous

Yasher koach R' Erie for putting so much thought into helping other struggling yidden.

1) I vote for this thread to be re-named "Bimah Kloppers."

2) Making an announcement about your own problems and struggles is difficult. It's not something that's necessarily fair to ask of the average person - to shame yourself for your own recovery is one thing. But this is shaming yourself for someone else's potential recovery. So it's beautiful. And ch''v I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from doing it. But I'm recognizing that we're asking people to do something very difficult to help a chaver out.

chosemyshem wrote on 02 Jul 2024 19:47:

Like I wrote, if it's too hard for you, I get it. But maybe think about. Maybe, maybe, you can find a way to do it. Remember, nobody can sell GYE the way you can! nobody!!!

How about this- if anyone PMs me with a name and address of a rebbi I can mail them a copy of the battle of the generation…

Dear Rabbi ploni
A friend/talmid of yours who has struggled binyanei kedusha gave me your name. I am writing this letter to make sure you were aware of the resources available through guard your eyes. There are many members, including talmidei chachamim, at all levels of struggle - some for many years- that have been helped through GYE and its available resources. I hope that you will read the enclosed book which has helped many, including myself, change our perspective on this struggle. I trust that you will find it helpful as you continue to inspire those around you.

Best wishes
My real name and phone.

Small point. Anyone who actually sends a letter or something to their Rav, can ask that he share it with other community rabbonim. Spread the impact without more work.

eerie wrote on 02 Jul 2024 19:38:

wow! i missed where you wrote that you discussed gye w rabbi wachsman. ashrecha! the zchus harabim should stand by you.
is that what brought him to discuss it by adirei hatoirah?

i myself am not comfortable sharing w a rav at the moment, but i think i'ts a wonderful thing to do. hopefully one day i'll get there.

vehkam wrote on 02 Jul 2024 20:01:

You could probably leave the letter as the "gift message" on amazon so it would come with the book.

I just emailed Rabbi Shragi Kallus after listening to this shuir he recently gave (title is "Hiding from your spouse"). He clearly understands this sugya. I wrote him the below, and attached a copy of the "letter to my rebbi" I wrote, and PY's letter.


Idk if that did anything. But after I heard the shuir I wanted to get it off my chest anyway. 
I sent it to the email address listed for him on torahanytime. If someone has a better email address I'd resend it to that.

CMS, thank you for that beautiful post. I'll read this a few times, hopefully will bring my blood pressure back to normal levels after reading that email Ploni sent to IWLR. Thanks for doing that even though it's not so easy, just to spread the message of hope!

Just weighing in here.
I understand this proposal as follows - please clarify if I misunderstood.
GYE advertising reaches a certain audience with certain results, and we are trying to 
a] widen the support and understanding of the problem.
b] making rabbonim aware of a solution  that they can refer on - GYE [and the like]

Perhaps such an initiative could be coordinated with the CEO of GYE to map out key figures where an introduction to GYE can be made
with focus on the problem, solution, and breadth of the issue [both in the full range of sufferers and in levels of addiction]

If they then would want a member to accompany they could reach out to see who is comfortable in approaching Rabbi X.
Even if just the preliminary introduction and meeting would be arranged by GYE - the effect of the meeting would be more powerful.

[Of course this does not cover every single rav/ry but if the main influential ones were addressed like this in a systematic manner IMHO the effect would be greater.]

Possible a google sheet with names of Rabbanim - people can add who they think are important and people can then see who they can approach. [and for example Rabbi Wachsman can be crossed off!]

Either way Kudos to R Eerie for spearheading these gr8 initiatives.
"we can't keep it [sobriety] unless we share it with others"
"Service keeps us sober"

I just came across a super point by Vekam on his thread

I think back and ask myself what should I have done different. In whom should I have confided? Who in my life would have understood and who would have been able to help me?  Sadly I still believe the answer to that question is that no one could have helped. I don’t believe that there was someone out there with whom I would have felt safe sharing and I don’t believe there was anyone in my life equipped to help me and not to judge me. 

This includes all of my family, rebbeim, rosh Yeshivas and friends. That level of acceptance just was not there. 

We need to change that. We need to get the message out there that good people are suffering. None of us want to be addicted or to feel compelled to engage in these behaviors. Yet all of us want to be understood. To have people around us with whom we can share and who will be able to help us without judging us. This needs to be our goal. The world is a different place and the time is right for these conversations. Thank you for reading this. please do your part in creating that nonjudgmental atmosphere which would give us addicts greater opportunity to be helped.  Together we can make a difference.  

Followed by HHM's response:

I think the reality is that today there is much more acceptance, however there is a bigger issue. If a fellow puts aside his shame and embarrassment, and opens up to a rebbi - now what? Is the rebbi trained to give the guy a bear hug? Does he know what to say? If that one chance that our struggler gave us is squandered, we may not get another opportunity. 

Probably there should be a GYE training course given to people (rebbeim, mentors, shul rabbonim) who really care, are passionate, and are willing to volunteer time, to share what is available and be aware of the various methods that have worked.

Followed by a question by Teshuva Guy
I am about to find out for myself how this scenario will play out. I’m really scared of what might happen. I have to just have faith that I chose a person wisely (and a wise person) who will give me the support and encouragement I need. Because I need to share my past experience (not graphically, of course) of my previous life with men before becoming a Baal Teshuvah, so it’s not just that I hope he knows about the problems people have with P and M, but I also hope he can accept what happened to me in the past. So I hope it is not a huge mistake. Even though I know he will not share the information with anyone, he may never look at me the same way. Any thoughts?

I can second that sentiment - where in my role in chinuch this has come up time and again - what to share with who, for example a bochur was involved in a sexual crime and we shared it with the avreich who was coaching him, the avriech was in shock and said that he would have prefered not to know since now he looks at him as an abuser, instead of the sick bochur that he knew he was dealing with all along.
Since then we have made changes in when and how we share information with other mechanchim 

Food for thought.

Just sent my letter to R' Yaakov Bender, anonymously.

I think that a lot of these rabbonim know about it and some even gave there haskamos on or around this website, but I love the idea

Just sent my letter to two more R"Y...
One by one...

Any life on any other ideas???
Please?