See Tanya Ch. 27. 

cordnoy wrote on 25 Dec 2023 05:58:

Many people fell into this struggle not with their own free choice (either by abuse or at a young age) and once they realized that it's bad they were already what we call 'addicted'. 

But, even if a person puts himself in a challenging situation, or even if he strengthens his lusts by constantly giving in and now faces overwhelming battles, he still receives the same reward for struggling to overcome his desires as if it had not been his fault. Although bringing the struggle upon himself adds to the gravity of his earlier mistakes, it does not take away from the greatness of his accomplishments. 

The Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva 7:4) explains that by sinning, ba’alei teshuva activated their desires and became more susceptible to the pull of sin. Their desires are many times stronger than those of a person who never sinned. For them to win their battles, they must exert much more effort.

People who have gotten caught up in the web of desire face extremely difficult battles. Seemingly innocuous situations awaken their desires, and suddenly they feel, “I want it! I need it! I can’t live without it!” The intensity cannot be fathomed by one who has never faced such desires. It takes much more strength for the ba’alei teshuva to win, and that’s why they are higher than those who never sinned.

cordnoy wrote on 25 Dec 2023 05:58:

Or, as Moe Srour thunderously puts it, Stop putting your sh*t on God.

In my opinion, it's a joint effort. He created us with the inclination and we made it far worse.

Shmuel wrote on 25 Dec 2023 12:30:

But idealizing take the cake!

Dear tzvikifine,

Have you watched the todays Vayimaen video from R Shlomo Farhi? If yes, then I think you know what makes someone great… if not, please watch it and you’ll understand what makes someone great.

Rooting for you,

Heeling wrote on 25 Dec 2023 15:11:

ODAAT!

davidt wrote on 25 Dec 2023 14:20:

There's always free choice.

cordnoy wrote on 25 Dec 2023 17:37:

Don’t say things like that next thing you know you’ll ask them to take responsibility for their own actions 

צדקת הצדיק אות מג: פעמים יש אדם עומד בניסיון גדול כל כך עד שאי אפשר לו שלא יחטא כד"ש (ברכות לב, א): מה יעשה הבן כו', ובזה הוא נחשב אונס גמור דרחמנא פטריה. וגם בהסתת היצר בתוקף עצום שאי אפשר לנצחו שייך אונס [ואם הש"י הסיב את לבו הרי אין חטא זה חטא כלל, רק שרצון הש"י היה כך] ועמ"ש בכתובות (דף נא:) גבי תחלתו באונס אפי' צוחת לבסוף שאלמלא מניחה היא שוכרתו מותרת לבעלה מ"ט יצר אלבשה הרי דזה מחשב אונס גמור אעפ"י שהוא מרצונה מ"מ יצר גדול כזה א"א באדם לכופו והוא אונס גמור ואין בזה עונש אף דעשה איסור כיון שהי' אנוס.

אבל האדם עצמו א"י להעיד על עצמו בזה, כי אולי עדיין היה לו כח לכוף היצר [וכמו ששמעתי בזה מענין זמרי שטעה בזה]:

As Reb Tzadok writes, a person doesn't have the right to claim that he was forced to sin. It seems that Reb Tzadok holds that sometimes it can't be ruled out either, but a person can't avoid taking responsibility for his actions because he can't know for sure that he didn't have free will. Regarding my challenges that started in first grade when I was playing with other boys I don't have the right to say that I had no free will but I wouldn't rule it out either. Regardless of the onset, later in life I definitely had free will and for practical purposes that is all that matters. I used to believe that I had no free will even as an adult but GYE proved me wrong.

In psychology it is often said that we might be able to blame our parents, teachers, peers, etc. for our problems but it is up to us to resolve them.

The Yismach Yisroel writes that Hashem knows beforehand that a person will sin and yet he creates the person because He puts His trust in the person that he will do Teshuva. By the fact that we are still alive we see that Hashem hasn't given up on us.

This idea from the tzidkas hatzadik is quite controversial. 

Dear Newly Deleted User 11074,

We understand that very, very well too….Oy do we understand!

Love you, wherever you are…

Stay safe and well. 

foolie wrote on 25 Dec 2023 17:53:

In a way I personally am getting tired of this back and forth every time. We must understand were and what we disagree on in order to understand. To say that Gd is cold and logical, and doesnt understand the extent of the tests we are going through, or blames us for societies lack of control is, I believe not the question. Hashem is avinu av harachaman. To say that we are terrible people for having such thoughts....well I believe there are a number of posts from Foolie that would go counter to this. If we are to say that I am an ones now if I would go sin, I think everyone would agree thats not the case. If we are talking about a person who from his childhood was exposed, is he considered an ones before he had a way of knowing recovery, that would be a case to case basis with very little practical halacha lemaseh. Ela may the naphka mina is after the fact that I sinned after knowing a path and Im working, bgeder, sheva yipol vehkam, who cares? If I am working on Lashon Hora and am nichshal during the process of working on it, would we think about it so much then? I am doing the best I can and we'll worry about tshuva later. If I am totally not working on anything is anyone going to say I am an ones? 

cordnoy wrote on 25 Dec 2023 17:37:

Ohr Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)
It is known that all the Mitzvos that Hashem commanded his holy nation are Mitzvos that a man can stand by and cause himself a desire to do, besides for the Mitzva of staying away from arayos  which is something that a person craves and his desires forces him to act, unless one makes an effort to stay far away from two things: (1) Seeing with the eyes, (2) Thinking about it. However, if a person does not keep away from these two aspects (sight and thought), a man will not be able to control himself and rid himself of it.

bright wrote on 25 Dec 2023 19:50:

In general you are right but I think it is important for people who were abused as a child and are going around with tremendous pain and guilt for things they did as a child to understand that it may be that they had no free will. For practical purposes, regardless of their childhood experience, it is up to them to take responsibility for their future and heal.

I agree. My point is that I do not get what all the back and forth is. I think they would agree to you in that case as well.