Watching porn releases oxytocin. This is a hormone that makes us feel safe and secure
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Hi. I would submit to you a thought to consider. Even in a healthy spiritual sexual relationship yes hopefully the sex is a vehicle for connection and bonding. Yes. However, think about it for a moment. Is it not true that if a woman sees a man say her husband speak in front of a few hundred people and do really well and impress the crowd if he closes a big business deal if he physically protects her from some thugs if he writes a good book etc etc..   those things activate the attraction of a woman. Why? Because she sees him as having influence, leadership, over others. So even in a healthy relationship it comes back to power and control.                                                                 
And I invite you to pause for a moment here and consider another detail, aspect of this phenomenon. Initially reflexively it sounds like control and power is an ugly thing. Unhealthy. But it's not at all. It can be of course yes. But what's wrong with a woman being attracted to a man that's demonstrating strength in some area. There's nothing unhealthy about that. That's healthy and natural.
Take a moment if you will and consider it.

There’s a big difference between a man using power and control to support and protect a woman, and a man using power and control to take advantage of a woman. 

Yes and I cite that distinction in my comment but still still still the bottom line remains hard and fast and in place and unchangeable, that it is part of this phenomenon of nature that sex and power are strictly intertwined.
 It's not unusual at all for a woman to love her husband have good warm feelings about him as a person and yet not be too activated as a woman towards him. In my coaching it almost always comes down to the same nugget. And that is how they see him.

Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde wrote, "Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power."

Teshuvahguy wrote on 31 Oct 2022 17:29:

I don't know if you have checked it out already or how helpful it might be, but there are a couple of therapy organizations listed on the support tab of this website.

TheNextStep wrote on 03 Nov 2022 17:03:

I have, just in the last couple of days. RELIEF. I am waiting to hear back from them for someone. Thanks so much for the response.