I was not watching porn or masturbating but dirty thoughts in my head came about and I wasted some seed... I'm trying my best not to watch porn or masturbate but did I fail the 90-day count? I'll try my best to keep my mind clean and also to keep my eyes guarded the best I can next time...

According to the letter of the law as per GYE rules, it may not be a fall. However fantasizing to such an extreme level is not good to say the least. Maybe share some more background of your challenges, so the chevra can respond appropriately.

By not guarding my eyes I watch music videos that are not modest... I'm addicted to music videos but I got to keep my eyes guarded...

Anonymous1234567 wrote on 18 Jan 2022 15:14:

how much is "some"?

not much just little waste

Anonymous1234567 wrote on 18 Jan 2022 15:47:

looks like "they" deleted my "little" pregnant post; thanks.
let's try a different way to get my point across: i looked thru the forums, the rules, the f2f program, the regulations, and nowehere did i see a distinction between how much seed actually came out. you were thinking inappropriate thoughts, you masturbated, you spilled seed, but it was less than a revi'is? is that your question? and someone above said that no, that's not a fall; what am i missing?
read while you can.

Often people confuse pre-seed with seed… if you didn’t masturbate it probably isn’t seed… often people get confused and think any substance that they see even though they didn’t masturbate and reach ejaculation is Forsure seed. That’s incorrect. Not sure if that’s what your referring to. 

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 18 Jan 2022 19:19:

In GuardYourEyes we don't consider releasing pre-ejaculate a "fall". However, it is certainly problematic because the bad thoughts and the erection itself is asur. Also according to the Arizal releasing pre-ejaculate required a tikun. 


 כתב המהרח"ו (פרי עץ חיים שער ק"ש שעל המטה פרק יא) וזה לשונו: מורי (האר"י) זלה"ה אמר כי גם אותן הטיפות היוצאת מן האדם קודם הזיווג הם בכלל מוציא זרע לבטלה וצריך תיקון גדול על זה. עכ"ל 


אור החיים הקדוש פרשת ויצא (כט, כג):
ויבא אליה. טעם שלא הרגיש בה הוא לחששת צדיק וישר ונאמן רוח לבל יכשל במכשול האנושי אשר יתאוו תאוה קודם קרוב אליה ויטיפו ממנו צחצוחי טומאה קודם התחלת מצוה. ומי לנו גדול מיעקב אבינו עדות לו בתורה (לקמן מ"ט ג') ראשית אוני, ועיין מה שכתבנו שם, אשר על כן הרחיק הראות בה ותיכף ומיד בא אליה לשמור חומו בל יחלל בריתו ברית קודש

Thank you, DavidT now I know...

@davidT
dont you think everyone would agree tho that there a major major difference between seed and pre-seed? Scientifically there’s usually no sperm in there… just wanting to clarify so If a person sees pre-seed cuz he got aroused for 5 seconds it doesn’t mean he’s done and and he might as well masturbate! 

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 19 Jan 2022 05:14:

you are 100% right! 
If a person sees pre-seed cuz he got aroused for 5 seconds it doesn’t mean he’s done and and he might as well masturbate!
At the same time it's very important to know that one of the old dirty tricks of the yetzer hara is to tell the person "I'll only do it for a few seconds, or I'll only take a small peek..." Most of the time that peek is what pulls the person into full fledged falls! 
So yes, we need to know all the facts and stay a step ahead of the Y"H's sly tactics.