It's been 180 days since I made this thread. I want to publicly say thank you to the oilam here on GYE and to the  מלך מלכי המלכים Who has guided me through my life on a tight rope 100 miles off the ground, holding my hand tightly until this very moment. This thread is titled Day 120, a day when I was hanging on by bare threads. Bchasdei Hashem, today I have reached Day 300. Thank you Hashem. Thank you GYE members (special appreciation to the ones above in this thread) who gave me the cheerleading, chizuk, and inspiration that were absolutely necessary for me to push through the challenges and physical pain I've faced on my journey to this moment.
ברוך שהחיינו וקיימנו לזמן הזה!
IT IS POSSIBLE!!!!
Day 301, here I come! Veiter!

Wow!! That’s an amazing accomplishment! You should only know success in the rest of your journey. Best of luck brother. You are an inspiration to all!

Wow! Mazel tov! This is the biggest simcha! A real spiritual simcha! GYE has changed so much with you! Really we should say - you have many thousands of days. Not 301. With all the insight you brought to the GYE chevrah you’ve helped many people make day 1 possible! Thanks so much for adding so much to this site and sharing your wisdom! Don’t forget the famous line-

Bchasdei Hashem, I have reached day 500.

The single biggest piece of advice I can share, and will share again, and again, and again, is to reflect deeply and honestly on the role that fantasizing has in your struggle. If you are honest with yourself, you will come to see that fantasy is at the root of this entire sugya. When, and only when, you come to this realization and decide to move your mind on from fantasies, you will stop masturbating, because there is never a masturbation without a fantasy.

Reb NL&S, MAZAL TOV! Keep trucking, inspiring and sharing your words of wisdom for many, many years to come!

wow mazel tov to your 500 days, 

now after 500 days you can give explanation for your nick name?

5Uu80*cdwB#^ wrote on 23 Jan 2023 02:51:

Amazing! Mazel Tov!!!
To add to your point, see The famous Ohr Hachayim on Acharei Mos...
And if one does not distance himself from thinking about these things, his thoughts will also force him to seek out and lust after the deed. As we can see from the story in the Gemara (Avodah Zara 22b) of a non-Jew who bought a thigh of meat in the market place, cut into it, used it to pleasure himself, and then cooked it and ate it. This comes from being steeped in the aspect of "thought" which forced him to do these deeds even without seeing anything.

wow! just read through this thread, great stuff, thank you for sharing. 

Bh I'm on 82 days clean now  but always wondering how long will this last for? Am I cured? (I know I'm not) Will I also get crazy taivos again like you  did on day 120?  Will I be able to fight? Will I fall? If chas veshalom I do, will I be able to get back up again? 

All questions I think about occasionally... your thread was definitely a chizuk, so thank you!

yud909 wrote on 24 Jan 2023 16:54:

I think we all think these thoughts, and the answer is usually yes to most of those questions. Yes, we will still have moments where the YH gets really strong, and yes the fight will be tough but you will be able to fight, and if c"v you fall, yes you will be able to get up again. Think of it like D-day. without troops on the European continent, there was no way to open the front against the Germans. D-day was able to accomplish that from that point onward the allies were able to fight an even battle against the Axis powers. That does not mean that they lost no soldiers, didn't suffer setbacks, weren't attacked by a German offensive. Of course all those things did happen. (Take the battle of the bulge, for example) But D-day put the battle on even footing, it put it in place that victory became possible from there. The initial stage of staying clean, learning methods of control, of minimizing cues, that's our D-day. from there we enter the every day battle of the YH. Yes, the YH will still mount attacks, yes, it will be tough but you still have the power to fight! Hashem has not forsaken us! And yes, if you look at it this way, if you realize that falling from here on does not mean you have no hope, it does not mean you're a loser, it does not mean Hashem gave up on you, all it means is that you fell. So you'll get up, brush your pants off, and KEEP ON TRUCKING!!! 

yud909 wrote on 24 Jan 2023 16:54:

Thank you for your encouragement to keep sharing!
You will almost certainly encounter moments of extremely strong taivos throughout your life as you go forward, as we all do. The hope is that you have begun to develop the tools to effectively navigate these moments of difficulty, whereas in the past you would have quickly been ensnared. Furthermore, know that the difficulties decrease in frequency substantially if you are very careful with what you look at and what you let your mind ruminate about. I used to encounter difficulties daily. It is now MUCH less frequent that I find myself actively struggling with taivos.
And, probably most important: in the case that you have a stumble, just get right back up.
Hatzlacha!

Ybird wrote on 23 Jan 2023 21:44:

I think you may have to wait until  5Uu80*cdwB#^ days

I once had a friend named jack, 
It was so nice to see him come back,
I hope it won't cause him to boast,
If I tell him I liked his post.

Nice to see you, JTJ!

5Uu80*cdwB#^, you are amazing. To read your thread in a few minutes, time traveling from the tremendous difficulty you were facing at day 120 to see you standing gloriously on top of a mountain today gives me hope for my own journey. Keep on going my friend, you are one of the tzadikim the whole klal yisrael davens for three times a day

,

simchastorah wrote on 27 Feb 2023 13:48:

Thank you for your really kind words and encouragement, simchastorah!

I want to tell you something. This VERY morning I was actually struggling badly with a fantasy for the first time in some time. It started last night and I was having difficulty moving on, though I was trying. I kid you not I was feeling quite weak and definitely on the defensive. I was thinking to myself  this morning that I must reach out to my friends on GYE and contact one of them ASAP to make sure I talk this through and move on. Literally within the hour, I received a "random" private message from you, whom I don't even know, in addition to this post, with words of encouragement that touched my heart and made me reflect on how much Hashem loves me and how far I have come. As soon as I read your message to me, I was able to move on from the fantasy just like that.

So I want to say thank you so much for thinking to write to me this morning. You really, really helped me more than you can imagine and helped me to see how great I am (not in a gaivadik way) and how beloved by Hashem I am. Tizku l'mitzvos!

הוֹדוּ לַה' כִּי טוֹב כִּי לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ

Day 600. Thank you Hashem for bringing me to this day.

Standing atop this mountain I never thought I would succeed in climbing, I want to share some advice with my brothers who are currently on the cliffs or at base camp:
1. Realize that this is an addiction and approach recovery from the point of view of addiction. Until I made this transition in my mind, I wasn't able to make a move. With no other mindset did I have any meaningful success.
2. Realize that fantasy and lust are the core problem and that their grip on a person can be as strong as that of heroin. It's not enough to just guard your eyes. You also have to guard your mind. If you keep fantasizing, you won't be able to quit masturbating.
3. Embrace the physical pain involved in withdrawal from the drug called fantasy and lust. If you aren't willing to tolerate physical pain, you likely won't make it through the withdrawal phase.
4. Realize you can't do it without Hashem. Daven for assistance in recovery every day, all the time.
5. Review point number 2 above constantly. As long as you continue to fantasize, you won't break free.

Hatzlacha to all in reclaiming our lives from this terrible addiction. Remember, it's an addition, and fantasy is at the root of it all.