Doing well bh with immense desires...

Grant400 wrote on 07 May 2021 04:20:

Ditto.
Can I commit to increase my penalty to 1000 if I act out specifically tonight?
You seem to be the commissioner of this sport.
Also,  I don't always have access to the site, if anyone wants to make an email group (or just email me privately) please send me a PM. Thanks.

Grant400 wrote on 07 May 2021 04:20:

Cherish the torture, my sweet friend....Embrace the sweat and excruciating pain!

Chasam Sofer was once given a diamond from someone who he had lent money to. He spent a long while marveling at and describing its beauty before handing it back and explaining that he could not accept it due to issur ribis. I believe that the Chasam Sofer's point was that any aveira that you resist becomes no less than a cheftza shel mitzvah.

Oy gevald! How beautiful is the taavah that we decide not to do!

Your are stronger than strong my dear brother ~ IMG

Grant400 wrote on 07 May 2021 04:20:

The Chofetz Chaim writes that  the yetzer hara makes us think “I will never be perfect,” but we need to realize that every time we control ourselves is a phenomenal achievement. We receive tremendous reward for each moment of self-control, even if we give in one minute later. As the Vilna Gaon relates, every instance of exertion is an independent accomplishment that is profound in its own right. Putting up a fight against our desires instead of chasing them is impressive even if we end up giving in.

We need to focus on how much we gain from even one minute of self-control instead of worrying whether we will mess up later. We should focus on the immense reward we can earn and recognize how impressive our accomplishments must be since they merit such a lofty reward.

It is impossible for us to feel the thrill of being successful in the battle against the yetzer hara and at the same time give in to our desires. We have to choose between the two; we cannot have both. If we decide that we just can’t give up what we desire because we will miss out on too much, we won’t be able to feel good about ourselves. Giving in makes us look down on ourselves. When we run after our desires and feel guilty, we are unable to be happy. Therefore, not choosing to stand up against our desires is a decision in itself, and unfortunately, it is a decision to be miserable. What do we want in life: true happiness and accomplishment or cheap physical thrills with misery? Choosing to be a slave to our passions means missing out on the most incredible life ever. If we don’t stand up and fight our way out of the clutches of desire, we will miss out on an exhilarating, meaningful life.

I am joining the challenge starting today, Friday May 7.

Update - 5/7:
Grant400 - committed 5/2
lionking - committed 5/2
i-man - committed 5/2
EvedHashem1836 - committed 5/2 AND will say entire tehillim when we all get to 90
vhaereiny - committed 5/2
bm263 (me) - committed 5/2
Striving to be good - committed 5/2
Zedj - committed 5/2
HappyYid - committed 5/3
Hakolhevel - committed 5/3
Lou - noncommittal as of 5/3 - we anxiously await his change of heart
littlebylittle - committed 5/3
wilnevergiveup - committed 5/3
IMG - committed 5/3 AND pays 400 when we all get to 90.
Looking_to_improve -committed 5/3
שבע יפול צדיק וקם - committed 5/7

Reminder - next one to fall has to pay $152! (approximately 495 NIS today, per google)

Good luck!

So far, no one has taken me up on an offer of a direct email or email chain. The offer stands indefinitely.

If you're still uncomfortable, feel free to share here. No reason to be the next domino...

I'll join an email chain. I am sending you my email address in a private message.

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 07 May 2021 18:16:

Me too.

*

Sorry bm263, I don't get around to seeing messages so often. You can join me in the email chain. My email is in my signature.
Thanks for taking charge.
I just wanted to let everyone know, that B"H the challenge has helped me already. I am over 2 weeks since my last fall and over 3 weeks since I was last together with my wife. Going through withdrawal now and held back because I didn't want to disappoint this group.
Git Shabbos

Ditto. This challenge has helped too, thanks to you all!

I'd like to join as well. I am coming off of a 10 day binge where I had access to a totally unfiltered computer, in a very private place. I also have quite a few personal stressful situations at home, so that adds to my desire to act out.
I hereby commit to 90 days of being clean. On my chart, that will be until day 96. 
I think that it would help for each of us to spell out exactly what is meant by no acting out, no zera levatala, no touching themselves, no inappropriate sites, etc.
For me, I define it as no zera levatala. I will try hard not to touch myself either, but at this point, I am not sure if i will be able to commit to that for 90 days. 
I am very tight financially, and I REALLY can not afford to mess up!

bm263 wrote on 07 May 2021 18:06:

I would love to join an email group, my email is also in my signiture.

BTW what happened with keeping your old identity a secret? (not that BM*** wasn't obvious....)

Welcome to the new joinees! The more the merrier - and the more binding. So far BH I can practically attribute my staying clean to all of you who joined the challenge. Thank you!

I agree that we should keep this thread fresh and busy. Please feel free to update everyone on your progress and struggles. This thread is the "lodge" or "clubhouse" for all of us. Let it be alive with conversation. All discussions acceptable.

I BH got past a few days of struggles and I'm in a very good place. 

Everyone is welcome to join whenever. There are no time limits, as long as the you keep to it starting from when you accept it. Hatzlacha!