Dear FWF and Joseph613,
yes this fight is a big one and i dont envy you. but i think both of you have a bit of a corrupt outlook on marriage. 
marriage is NOT going to help you with lusts. I am telling you that it won't. When you get married, you are getting married to the person, because you love her, care about her, share the same values ETC. Sex is part of the equation and NOT the be-all-end.

Getting married will not help your lust problems for the following reasons:
1. If your wife feels that she is being used for sex, she will shut down. (look into grant400's story)
2. Your wife will only be permitted to you 16-20 days max a month. If your wife is pregnant (bsha tova to joseph613) then you will have the full pregnancy. Then for 2 months she will bleed and heal after giving birth. Some women need more time.

Guys you are living in a fantasy to think that getting married is going to solve your problems. Just to paraphrase from Grant400's story, that when Moe realized his wife was not a porn star did he revert back to it. Thank G-D^ to the power of infinity (for those that know math) I have never watched porn. Your wife and most of the wives of husbands on this group, just graduated high school or seminary. They come in to marriage thinking how "kedusha" it is supposed to be. They learn how Kedusha sex is and they only the deeper stuff once they get into the act and maybe maybe they will want more and intense. They are true bnos Yisroel. They marry thinking it is so "kadosh.'' They have no idea that their husband has wanted sex for so long. They are not dolls or chics. 
FWF don't EVER THINK MARRIAGE IS GOING TO SOLVE YOUR ISSUE.  Joseph 613 is thank G-D married, and i sincerely hope he knows that he has 2 months of nothing G-D willing coming along after the baby is born in the right time.
FWF Thank G-D my wife had a baby recently and I am still waiting for her to immerse to be together again. Its tough, but we connect in other ways besides for sex. If I may suggest, that you should speak to your therapist and to work on undoing the sight of porn and to learn what a proper relationship mean. So that bezras Hashem when you do get married you will know how to do it right. 
I myself suffered from obsessing over sex and did certain things to objectify my wife. It was not fun. she shut down and it was very hard. Learn from my wrong doings and do it right.

NEVER FORGET MARRIAGE DOESN'T SOLVE LUST. IT DOESN'T, IT WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE. I spoke to Dov yesterday and he told me that for some people, getting married only makes it worse.
If you care look back and see how many men including myself had to wait longer for their wife to go to the mikva.

Woman sense if their husband is having sex for the right purpose which is to make her happy. If you are lusting to have sex and getting married for that reason, you should know that you are not only going to hurt yourself in the long run, but you are also hurting a young beautiful girls' life, by her thinking she is marrying a sweet boy and really underneath a lustful person.

Sorry for being so tough.

Dear FWF, joseph 613 and anyone else reading this whether you are married or not reconsider your lust. 
By the way I was also talking to myself the whole time. I am also having a hard time. I am not perfect, but i know the consequences of lust and being a sex animal in marriage. look in my other posts.

pesach sameach

EYES  

(Warning: Fairly graphic)
Throughout my struggle with pornography, the root of the problem has been my desire for a girl. I'm 20 years old, still a couple of years away from dating, and my lust to have sex with a girl is through the roof. B"H, I have refrained from "hooking up" online, but it hasn't been for lack of lusting. I actually one time created an account under a spam email address on one of those sites, and messaged a woman who asked if I would want to meet. When I responded in the affirmative, she asked if before we did, I could send her a picture of myself. I actually considered it. Then I deleted the account, the email, turned the browser off, and broke down crying. I have not re-created an account since then, but the desire to is through the roof. The only reason I haven't is because I think of how it would destroy my future, but sometimes the thought process switches to how it COULD destroy my future, and the lust encourages me to take the chance.
I've written my story on here before (guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/362124-Falling-hard-nonstop), but now I feel like I've finally hit on the root of my struggle. I don't think (and neither does my therapist) that I am an addict, as the lust is not nonstop, and often, the lust is not for porn, (I have no trouble with masturbation whatsoever, thank God), but for actual sex with a girl;  the porn is manifested in that desire. I cannot filter more than what I already have, as the access to the porn is via my PARENT'S (when I'm home) unfiltered devices, which they don't know I have access to (hence they don't see even a remote need for a filter, as they have no clue of the problem; nobody does, save for my therapist-one would never guess looking at me that I struggle with this, I do well in Yeshiva B"H, have terrific parents, B"H).
In short, it's hard, the access to hook up is often right there under my nose, and any eitzos/advice for dealing with this horrid struggle would be greatly appreciated.

eyes wrote on 01 Apr 2021 23:33:

Never mentioned once in my posts that I think marriage is an automatic cure. Of course it's not. In fact, I don't even think Joseph613 was saying that (in fact, HE SPECIFICALLY mentions in his post that he's still struggling!); he was pointing out that he was still B"H able to GET married and reorganize his life despite his troubles. To be clear, I agree with almost everything you said , but not the part about marriage not helping at all; it helped for multiple people that I know of; even if it's not a cure-all, it often eases the struggle, although there are always exceptions if one's struggle is really bad and/or unhappy marriage Chas V'chalilah; regardless, saying "marriage only makes things worse" as a blanket statement is factually untrue. I just want to make clear that I had no illusions about the opposite (i.e., that marriage is a definite solution that always solves the problem, and therefore the struggle definitely won't continue past then) whatsoever.

ever mentioned once in my posts that I think marriage is an automatic cure. Of course it's not. In fact, I don't even think Joseph613 was saying that (in fact, HE SPECIFICALLY mentions in his post that he's still struggling!); he was pointing out that he was still B"H able to GET married and reorganize his life despite his troubles. To be clear, I agree with almost everything you said , but not the part about marriage not helping at all; it helped for multiple people that I know of; even if it's not a cure-all, it often eases the struggle, although there are always exceptions if one's struggle is really bad and/or unhappy marriage Chas V'chalilah; regardless, saying "marriage only makes things worse" as a blanket statement is factually untrue. I just want to make clear that I had no illusions about the opposite (i.e., that marriage is a definite solution that always solves the problem, and therefore the struggle definitely won't continue past then) whatsoever.

I think FighterWithFire felt like he got  attacked for something he never said (which I agree...).
That's it. 
No need for anyone to get carried away.

FighterWithFire wrote on 02 Apr 2021 02:58:

The title and theme of your thread is about how badly you want to connect with a girl. I think many of us went through or are going through something similar. I for one, thought that getting married and "hooking up with a girl" were mostly the same. I wouldn't expect anyone who struggles with lust and or porn etc. to think otherwise. B"H, I had good Chassan Rebbeim and I have a good Rav, but it's still a process, one that may take some mistake as well, in order for us to learn from them.

I think @Eyes misunderstood you to mean that you wanted a girl in your life to be with forever in order to satisfy your lust. I understand you to mean that your struggle is with wanting a girl so badly. Am I understanding correctly? 

I really empathize with your situation. When I was single I used to do similar things, I would download various chat apps whether video or texting and connect with random girls. The pursuit was relentless. I am baruch hashem married now and it is going great bh. I still struggle with shmiras einayim but I am doing way better than I ever did, I can honestly say that I fight every day. 
You want advice? My suggestion may be uncomfortable but I feel necessary. The goal is to avoid being in scenarios that you are likely to succumb to your desires and habits. Ask your parents to put a passcode on their devices. It may be awkward at first, but any parent would be glad to have their child make a request of them for the purpose of spiritual growth. I did this with my wife. I had access to her lap top and would watch things nobody should so I asked her to put a passcode on it. I explained to her why I asked her to do this and she was extremely supportive. I expect your parents will be too. 
Its always important to find motivation to fight this battle, but practical techniques are needed as well, this should help. 
Mainly though...Daven. Daven and never stop.