Singularity wrote on 17 Jan 2017 14:23:

Or the truly grammar challenged.

Hello guys, just a quick u/d.

Spoke to my sponsor the first time today, for about 5 min, will start to read the 12 Step program, my Mentor/Councillor said should not start meetings yet...

LOL

will Succeed Beh wrote on 17 Jan 2017 19:22:

What is this madness? No meetings? Well, I can't speak.. Ask someone more experienced than you and...

oh wait.

UUpdate for today is that it's weird that I've noticed that now that I realized that I was tricking myself with Baal gaavehnes (cool word I think), even if I watch a movie now I don't have the same pull after to watch porn. How this works is not clear, but who cares. It's the understanding of what makes me tick ... (For enough arichus on this to get to the moon and back, see yosefs thread) that's important, so I'm not bothered by the why's as long as I get the how's.

Hi Brothers, I had another fall yesterday morning,
I spoke to my sponsor yesterday night for about an hour (i introduced myself with my real first name!).
Did help me alot, he said i should go to live meetings, and gave me the number of someone in my town thats on the meetings.... i took the courage and called him up - a nice Heimishe guy, i told him my first name and he told me his, he said he'll put me in contact with the guy who is in charge of the newcomers.
I am nervous about going and meeting real live people, but i feel that im not my control any more, so i'll do what it takes me to be sober! and after all we are all in the same boat anyway! 

I'v also learnt from speaking with my sponsor and as well to that guy, that there is nothing to be ashamed that i'v got this addiction / disease, its something that Hashem gave me, and he'll help me fight this as well.

LOL thanks for all your support!

will Succeed Beh wrote on 19 Jan 2017 10:31:

as in Laugh Out Loud or Lots of Love?

Either way, I really hope you grow in the meetings. They are my chemotherapy. I hope you have similar experiences.

Keep us posted! 

This week starts Shovavim, which is special for doing teshuva and being mitakane the pagam habris.
I'm taking it seriously this year with real actions (bli neder):
learn more Torah, say the long Arizal version of krias Shema al hamita, and fast at least once.
Now's the time. I'm ready to change and grow and fix up this mess I've gotten into.
I appreciate those who are really trying to help me. I definitely need all the help I can get.
Just like I've written concrete things I've tried, if you can give me concrete, well-defined things I can actually do that will help me, then I will do them (again, bli neder). 
Ideas so far from the 90-day thread:
Read Chovos HaLevavos Shar Bitachon - I can do.
It's heavy and slow reading, especially if I read it with an eye
to incorporate and apply the lessons, but I can do it.
Read the attitudes and perspectives 21 or 30 principles,
and really think about it and try to incorporate the lessons - I can do.
Get daily chizuk emails and read them the same way - I can do.

But, introspect and figure out underlying reasons why I feel the need to escape and self-soothe,
and then figure out how to meet those needs with some other fulfilling (but not destructive) activities,
sounds nice, but I don't know how to do it...so it gets filed away under "nice idea in theory" but I can't act on it.
Reaching out for help.

Reach out and speak with people if you arent doing so yet. Forums are great but it doesnt match personal connection. Also find other stress relievers like exercise to replace this form of self soothing. Stay with us. You are going to make it with Hashem's help

Singularity wrote on 19 Jan 2017 10:38:


Most people dread chemo. Do you find meetings that hard?

stillgoing wrote on 19 Jan 2017 15:48:

Interesting insight. OK. Chemo with a good hit of morphine. 

Recovery is fun

HHi everyone. How's everyone doing? Thread isn't dead I hope

SO I'll share my day with you. My kid fell asleep in my bed last night and was shifting around for a while. Hence I didn't get much sleep. After waking up early, learning with chavrusa, and davening, I came home and watched my kids. After .... I was super tired so instead of doing work on my computer (didn't want to risk slipping, almost slipping, falling or any other similar thing.) After waking up and still being tired I decided to daven mincha before working. After mincha I read stuff from the other threads .. and now started working. I haven't worked much and the days almost done but I succeeded. That's what's most important to me.

Thread is not dead.
I may fast tomorrow and call Dovid Chaim during his group call.
Everyone needs to find their way. I get that. 
But there still must be a short list of less than 10 things that people have done
which have really helped them succeed long-term. Not sure why people are 
not freely giving me their list. Someone suggested that not everyone thinks in terms of lists.
Not really an answer...but whatever.
You can rest assured, that when I finally succeed, I will tell you exactly what things helped.
And hopefully, some of them will help many other people  !

(Shua I responded to your Sharei Teshuva reference, and great job succeeding so far today)

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 22 Jan 2017 23:29:

TThank you. Also I may write strongly but it's just bc I feel strongly about what I'm writing. It's nothing personal. I'm still rooting for you to succeed.