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the story i never told
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: the story i never told 1890 Views

the story i never told 27 May 2015 20:26 #255495

  • Prisoner7785
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hi everyone, this is my first day as a member of gye. hopefully tom i will be sober, today i wasn't. im 30 years old, married with 2 beautiful kids and have a loving wife. i have been struggling with sexual related things such as masturbation, porn, voyeurism, going to massage parlors as well as having crazy fetishes. my marriage is rocky but repairable (i hope).. my wife has no clue about the things i do nor does anyone.. I'm so tired of this secret life i live.. I'm constantly running home to make sure that i erased my history and put away any cameras as not to have my wife find out. i need to be free of this but,i have little hope. i currently don't have a job and have lots of free time and have been up to no good! thanks for listening.

Re: the story i never told 27 May 2015 20:49 #255496

  • lomed
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Wellcome. You are brave and smart for coming here. make yourself comfortable. Perhaps with the support of all members you be moving forward to a better state.

I relate with your story, as mine is almost the same as yours. I regret that i didnt come here when i was your age. So you are a step ahead of me and many others. Just keep posting.

Hatzlacha
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: the story i never told 27 May 2015 21:35 #255500

  • TalmidChaim
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Welcome, and Mazal Tov on making it here; this is a huge, important step that you've taken. I know it's weird to think this way, but you're among friends now. Not distant virtual acquaintances, but genuine friends who care about you and your success.

Say as much or as little as you feel comfortable, keeping in mind that explicit details might be provocative to some people here. Just exercise discretion.

But most important is relaxing a little. That doesn't mean giving into your desires; it means letting go of the stress and opening your mind to what's available here. Often, we addicts have a perfectionist streak, and it keeps us away from the resources we desperately need for recovery. I'm not saying that this is you; I'm just letting you know that there is no official way to be a GYE member. You learn as you go, and grow in the process.

With that in mind, tell us about yourself.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.

Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: the story i never told 27 May 2015 21:38 #255501

  • Palti-Yossef
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Hi Pri,
happy you joined !

You have to know that you did a great thing by posting here, as it's well known that lust grows with loneliness !
Don't hesitate to open up to all the GYE tools and to share whatever you want !

Hoping to see you soon with good news !

Re: the story i never told 27 May 2015 22:04 #255504

  • yiraishamaim
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HI P7785
So happy you joined us. Whatever your story, and in any area of acting out - here on the

forum "Aiyn Chadash Tachat Hashemesh"

OH - and in every area there is someone who is working a program and racking up days clean from the old depressive routine.

So you came to the right place. Please continue to participate, listen intently to your new found friends, and be ready IF YOU REALLY TRULY WANT TO - to become a happy wholesome new man.

Re: the story i never told 28 May 2015 12:58 #255534

Hi Prisoner
It is so nice to have you join. It feels like hotel California. The door is open but we just cant seem to get out. Well you came to the right place. Soon you will change your name to jailbreak and you will be free. There are so many wise and caring people around here. Gradually you will feel more comfortable sharing more speaking to people joining telephone conferences and even meeting your gye friends. This will really help you break free. But take it slow and move at your own pace and comfort level. The key is to stay connected and moving. You made the first step and you are in the right place.
We all love you and are in the same boat.

Re: the story i never told 28 May 2015 15:05 #255541

  • shlomo613
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And may I say hello too..

Re: the story i never told 28 May 2015 16:07 #255547

  • gibbor120
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WELCOME! What a great first share! You have come to the right place. Many here have similar stories. Many lost hope, and many are sober today bechasdei Hashem. Keep posting, read the handbook. Check out some of the links in my signature, especially the "dov quotes" (he is a legend here). There is hope. We are so happy you joined.

Re: the story i never told 28 May 2015 23:20 #255566

  • serenity
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Welcome to GYE! Thank you for the open and honest share!

Hatzlacha!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: the story i never told 28 May 2015 23:40 #255567

  • yudi
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Hi P7785

Baruch Habah! I'm a newbie around here too and quite green, but let me tell you, GYE is great place with a tremendous support network. Being here has only upside potential for you.

Hatzlacha Rabah!!

Re: the story i never told 29 May 2015 02:55 #255580

  • cordnoy
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Welcome

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: the story i never told 29 May 2015 03:05 #255581

  • Prisoner7785
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Thanks for all the feedback guys!! I'm almost done with day number 1 and its been one crazy day with trigger after trigger. why do all the jewish woman have to dress so darn hot? were i live its like when you get married the shorter your skirt gets...????anyways sorry for rambling

Re: the story i never told 29 May 2015 03:07 #255582

  • cordnoy
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Prisoner7785 wrote:
Thanks for all the feedback guys!! I'm almost done with day number 1 and its been one crazy day with trigger after trigger. why do all the jewish woman have to dress so darn hot? were i live its like when you get married the shorter your skirt gets...????anyways sorry for rambling


I find myself lookin' at the women who are twice or even thrice married.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: the story i never told 29 May 2015 07:33 #255600

  • shlomo613
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cordnoy wrote:
Prisoner7785 wrote:
Thanks for all the feedback guys!! I'm almost done with day number 1 and its been one crazy day with trigger after trigger. why do all the jewish woman have to dress so darn hot? were i live its like when you get married the shorter your skirt gets...????anyways sorry for rambling


I find myself lookin' at the women who are twice or even thrice married.

Cordnoy, that was super funny! Shkoiach

Re: the story i never told 29 May 2015 07:41 #255601

  • shlomo613
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Prisoner,
Welcome. Will you one day to change your name to ex-con?
I really sympathise with you. I'm not in a position to give you wise words about the above quote - but with the passage of time and not looking, you sense something very special changes have come over you.
It's a bit like: life and all those women are the peel, but you begin to feel that you are now living with the fruit.
Oilam hazeh is always offering us the peel, lust doesn't go away and we're always faced with the choice of what we'll go for.
It's a worthwhile endeavour - and as I said I really feel for you because I've had the same thoughts.
Hatzlacha rabba
Shlomo
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