May I add my two cents to the conversation as I also went through a very similar situation.

The 90 Day chart is a bummer for us hardcore lustaholicis, reason being we tend to believe if we make it there we can make it anywhere, and we get complacent once we get close to 90 or we get there, because we think we made it. for this reason im not concentrating on updating my chart and hope to lose track of the exact amount of days clean.
The one and only way the 90 day chart would help is if its like a honeymoon period where as my chosson rebbe told me is infatuation in order to build the foundation of an everlasting relationship of love. so too here if the 90 days is built up by getting a day by day life long plan (and I know ill get rotten tomatoes thrown for that so let me explain in a sec) then it will be helpful.

Now by a day by day lifelong plan I mean a plan that someone will use day by day for his whole life not just till 90 days, the emphasis on the day by day to be used lifelong.

Thanks for that. We can't afford to be complacent.

Thanks Yid.
The concepts are hard to grasp but you are all correct that by hanging out on GYE there is a lot to learn.
I always try to deal with issues by being pragmatic and logical but the addiction is inherently illogical.

Reminds me of a mashul from Rav Nachman: the Yetzer Hara is like the guy who who tells a kid that he has something in his hand so the kid begs and chases the guy just to find out what's in his hand only to find that there is nothing there.
I'm the child; only I fall for the exact same trick hundreds of times.
Pardon the stream of consciousness.

Not that this was Rav Nachmans point.

Serenity this is out of curiosity

I know we were at about the same place, and you keep sayin thanks for the reminder not to complacent, So what are you doing not to be complacent

yidtryingharder wrote:


I'll let him answer, but did you notice how many meetin's he goes to, and how much readin' he does?

No I didn't thanks for pointing that out cordnoy I don't always follow everyone's exact situation to find what they do its a big fault of mine

I try to, for much more can be accomplished that way.

Hi Yid,

I'm doing my best to work my program. Specifically as to complacency, one of the things I do is to be mindful of what works for other people and what doesn't work for them. I try to apply those principles in my life. I try to remind myself that I can't afford a slip and I try to identify the potential causes of a slip way before it happens. But mainly I spend a lot of time here and working the steps of SA with my sponsor. And as Avrom pointed out, I go to a lot of meetings. I also call someone the second I'm feeling off.

hatzlacha!

I think this OA reading is appropriate to the topic.


“If we are to experience permanent recovery from compulsive eating, we
will have to repeat, day after day, the actions that have already brought us
so much healing.” - The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters
Anonymous, p. 83.
Every time I read this passage, it brings me up short and causes me to
reflect on my program. What did I do fifteen years ago to lose seventy-five
pounds? What did I do over the years to arrive at the level of serenity I
have now? What did I do that resulted in my Higher Power being my best
friend and confidante? The really big question is, “Am I still doing the
program activities today that I did in the first bloom of program?” Most of
the time, I can continue to live the principles of the Steps and use the tools
daily; I do these things more automatically and enthusiastically than ever.
Time has increased my passion and commitment.
When my answer to the big questions is a “maybe” or a “no,” I need to
make adjustments in my life which give me the time and opportunity to
practice program activities on a daily basis. My belief that compulsive
eating is a chronic, incurable, potentially-fatal disease confirms the need to
persevere in the treatment plan that has worked so well for me for over
fifteen years.
- Taken from Voices of Recovery: A Daily Reader, page 316