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Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My!
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 4637 Views

Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 14 Dec 2014 13:22 #245100

  • serenity
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I was just thinking today, how fortunate we are to have the internet. Reading about the struggles of yungerleit with SSA and thinking that before the internet, they had no place to turn. Thinking of people like myself who are sexaholics and would never have a chance at a peaceful life without the internet. Some people who are dealing with internet porn addictions may not be as enthusiastic about the internet. They may think that but for the internet, they would not have developed a porn addiction - and they may be correct. Where they would be mistaken, one may argue, is that they would still have some deep character defects that would cause them pain and turmoil in some other manner. Maybe some such people would think they would be better off sitting and learning in a cave for many years, as I once thought might me good for me. In that cave though, could they ever hope to fix innate character defects or would they just hope to let them lay dormant. We are here on this earth to struggle chevra. Now obviously we don't throw ourselves into a makom sakana, and we for example install internet filters on our computers and use all the tools of recovery etc., but if we think that the scantily clad woman at school or work, or the internet is the source of our problems, we haven't begun to understand how to help ourselves. Our addictions aren't our problems. Our addictions are our savior. I'm a grateful recovering sex addict and without my addiction, I could have never hoped to have reached even the meager level of understanding about myself and about my relationship with Hashem that I have now.

I would like to hear the views of others on this, if anyone is so inclined. And thanks for reading my little rant.

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 15 Dec 2014 01:28 #245114

  • shomer bro
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You raise an excellent point. I see the internet as a double edged sword. It can harm as well as protect. We were given our nisyonos and the situations we live in for a reason. I'd like to think more about this idea. Thanks for bringing this up.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 15 Dec 2014 02:14 #245118

  • Watson
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Like using snake venom to create anti-venom. I'd prefer a pet mongoose.

"Thinking of people like myself who are sexaholics and would never have a chance at a peaceful life without the internet"

This bit I don't understand. You have a phone, books, meetings, etc.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 15 Dec 2014 05:23 #245121

  • unanumun
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You raise a very interesting point. For me this is really an interesting question. If not for the internet I definitely would not have gotten sucked up into porn. For ten years I had not looked at porn or been interested in looking at porn.
High School was the last time I had fooled around with porn and internet wasn't a common thing yet.
when i began working with the internet i got sucked in soon afterwards.and it lasted for eight years before i made it to gye
however, I had a masturbation problem ever since high school. stopped when i got married but it came back. it was nowhere near as common as it became past internet exposure but it was there, and i never was able to successfully deal with it.
Now that I have joined gye I have been clean from porn and masturbation for nine months.
Was the whole journey and hours of porn that I watched, worth it in the long run because now I have dealt with the masturbation issue? Or would it have been better without?
Iwill know when I get up to beis din shel maaleh. maybe they will let me ask them? until then, it is what it is and i have to be careful and limit my internet usage,
f

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 15 Dec 2014 09:13 #245131

  • cordnoy
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Lo mei'uktzeich v'lo mei'duvsheich!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 15 Dec 2014 09:38 #245137

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I wouldn't have gotten to the phone, books or meetings without first finding fellowship on the web. I think in general that the web has allowed these issues and many other sensitive issues to become more open and addressed by our communities.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 15 Dec 2014 13:02 #245151

  • Watson
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SA started before the internet.

Boruch atoh Hashem ... Hameichin mitzadei gover.
Last Edit: 15 Dec 2014 13:09 by Watson.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 15 Dec 2014 17:45 #245158

  • cordnoy
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cordnoy wrote:
Lo mei'uktzeich v'lo mei'duvsheich!


This is not entirely accurate....
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 16 Dec 2014 21:10 #245238

  • Shmeichel
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dear watson
did you get yourself a pet mongoose already?
when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas
put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 29 Apr 2015 21:04 #253463

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I know that this thread has been quiet for a few months, but I thought i would comment on Serenity's question. Like unanumun between high school and marriage (which coincided with my first on-line computer) i didn't have much of a p___ problem although MZ"L was a different story. The internet has definitely brought me to a whole new spectrum of issues, although it will hopefully iy"H get me out of it too (GYE)
Interestingly i saw beshem the ohr hachaim that klal yisroes were taken out of egypt before they reached the 50th level of tumah because they would have not been able to get out of it since they had not received the Torah yet. But since they never made it to the 50th level of tumah they also could not make it to the 50th level of kedusha. Before mosheach comes we are going to be exposed to all of the 50 levels of tumah (sound familiar?) so that we can fight them with all of our might and then be zocha to climb the 50 levels of kedusha. by har sini the jews only reached 49, but we can reach 50! and remember that they got from real low all the way up to 49 in only 49 days. HOPE IS ON THE WAY!
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 29 Apr 2015 21:14 #253464

  • shlomo613
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The first post on this thread is amazing serenity. How do I link something into my sing nature or whatever?

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 30 Apr 2015 01:19 #253497

  • serenity
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my thread. I really appreciate it. Bumping up my old threads is automatic +Karma for you
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 30 Apr 2015 01:43 #253500

  • serenity
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Thank you for the kind and encouraging words.

Here's how to "link something into my sing nature or whatever." Oh and you can thank Cordnoy for going through and teaching me all this):

Go to "My personal homepage."
Look for "Your features and settings."
Click on "Forums Settings"
Click on "Profile information" tab
You will see a bunch of fields.
The "Personal text" field is for a short slogan, message, or personal description that will appear below where it says "_______ Boarder under your Avatar.
The "Signature" field is anything you want in your signature. Have fun getting that all lined up the way you want it. I think I spent an hour on it. If you want to link something, you can just paste the link there. If you want to make a hyper link (or whatever it's called) here is the format. Copy it and then paste it to your signature and then cut my link and paste yours.

Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!


Here is my Whole signature with codes, if you want to use it as a template:

much Hatzlacha! Yaakov
--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"

--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twaine
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
Last Edit: 30 Apr 2015 02:05 by serenity.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 30 Apr 2015 01:46 #253502

  • serenity
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Oops that didn't show you the codes. Hold on I'll try something else.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Lions, tigers and internet, Oh My! 30 Apr 2015 01:57 #253504

  • serenity
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I just deleted another failed attempt, so here goes again

Type:
Hit the space bar once
Then type the name of your thread: Glad to be here or whatever
Then no space type:


That should do it. I will try to message you the format template. It won't let me do it here or I can email it, if you email me.

This better work
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
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