Hello:

I've been here before, about 2 years ago. I was trying to overcome my problem, but "fell off". In truth, I did not try very hard to begin with.

Since Yom Kippur I was doing OK. But my wife's mikveh night is one week from tonight and I have a big fight on my hands for the next week. Starting yesterday, I was seized with a virtually uncontrollable urge. I looked at some things I should avoid. It can only be HaShem's assistance that stopped me from masturbating. BUT, I don't know how I will last for another WEEK !!!

EVEN IF, I can hold out until next week, that will not solve my overall problem of my inability to control my thoughts on sex. Even when I am with my wife, I sometimes think of other women (not most of the time, but some of the time)

Anyway, this rambling post is a call for any suggestions anybody out there might care to offer.

Thank YOU

Welcome back!!

A rambling post? Maybe, but I can most certainly relate!! Pre-Mikvah times were an ultimate challenge for me as well.

I used to also have thoughts when together with my wife, not about other women, but about doing other things.

The only suggestion that I can give is that you don't disappear!! Use the forum to the most of it's potential!!

What's your plan on how to stop?

KIT!! KOMT!!

Right now, I don't really have a plan. I'm going from moment to moment just to get through the day.

Welcome back,

The ultimate goal here, as you pointed out, is not to be able to last until you have a "kosher" outlet. I'm unmarried, I'm not trying to "hold out" until I'm married. In order to get our minds off sex we have to retool them. Change our whole attitude on it, and address the (if any) underlying problems causing it.

Changing out outlook so drastically takes time. Stick around, read posts, most importantly, keep posting yourself. In the meantime take it a day at a time and stop thinking about mikva night. It isn't important, being clean NOW is important.

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!

Check out the GYE Handbook and Skep's tips

Take a deep breath first. Ok, now focus on the job at hand. As someone single, I can only try to understand what you're going through. But, lustful thoughts are things that both married and single guys have to deal with. It plagues everyone in some form. I'de suggest to try as much as you can to not focus on being clean for a week, because who's to say what tomorrow will bring? You are only held responsible for now! So focus on the now, and zehu. Will it suddenly be easy? Maybe yes, maybe no, but you gotta try to change what your focus and end goal is. I used to think in terms of getting to the seemingly super elusive and magical 90 day mark, and you know what? It never helped me get there! If anything, it made it worse. Once I started to work (still working on it) on taking it one moment at a time, I now have begun to really see progress. KOP and don't be alone in this struggle, we're all here for you.

But I too feel like I'm barely hanging on. The last few days, and still today have been really hard ones with me really wanting to look at stuff and act out. We can do it!