I'm sure it took great strength on your part to overcome your tayva and delete the chat setting. KOMT!It's a chizzuk for me to hear.

thatguyoverthere wrote:


Yes, that's true. What about asking your boss if you can spend some time researching aspects of your job and learn how to do it very effectively. That might take away some of the boredom. Maybe your boss can give you some less boring stuff to do that you can alternate with.

I relate completely with all that you wrote.

I doubt it is possible that the work you will get will always be challenging, it's just not the way the world works, and I know that by me, I'd get tired of it always being challenging and end up in the same place. The answer lies in how I deal with the low feeling, and that is actually something I myself am struggling with right now.

Keeping in touch with Hashem and friends is really one of the most important tools I know of, when I use it, it always bears fruit. The other thing is to be prepared, I don't know if it's possible, but maybe try finishing the non challenging work as quick as possible (that itself can be a challenge) and learn for a few minutes, or something else that you think you would be able to do.

You are making progress, and that is the main thing!! KOMT!!

Sorry to hear about your falls; but it's nice to see you back.

A list of thoughts, or perhaps some of the steps is a good thing to have on hand when the lust bug hits.

b'hatzlachah

Thanks everyone. I came clean to my wife today and told her that I had fallen (no details though). She took it very hard as usual.

Unfortunately, it's hard for our wives not to take it hard.

So, time to revise. I had promised myself what I would do if I fall again. Join phone conferences, tell an IRL friend and fast for a day. She basically said no. I had not checked this list with her and she did not approve of any of the things. If I keep falling, yes, she'd want me to tell an IRL friend, but as it is now, I have kept clean for over 150, maybe 200 days straight, so it's going in the right direction. She doesn't want me to add extra fasts because I become a very annoying person when I'm hungry and she says it's not fair to punish the family... she has a point. Also, with the academic study year coming up, and my full time job, there's no real room or time for joining phone conferences.

So she decided on two other "punishments": 1) To be 100% internet-free for three days, which I was (Liberating feeling, actually. But felt a bit left out when there was an attack here in Jerusalem and I only heard others talk about it). 2) To do 50 push-ups every evening for three days. I kept forgetting that and only did it every other day, but that's also done. (Although I should probably keep doing it. I'm hearing it's healthy and stuff).

Now I have also gone through my previous list of things. Some of them I need to redo. Forcing myself to read the daily emails instead of skipping, re-read the handbook (it was helpful while reading, but once it was done I was like... ok, done!) and the phone in the bathroom... gotta admit that was the first thing I stopped follow. I bring the phone with me all the time. Because it's so boooring otherwise!!! I have a filter on the phone, and I've never fallen in there since I joined. I bring it to play backgammon or read jokes. But I know, I should probably quit it.... :'-(

Just so you should know, I'm new and just reading your posts are inspiring. How you go far and fAll and then go far again. My wife always tells me sheva Yipol tzadik the tzadik falls seven times, what's the big deal we all fall the answer is then next word vikom, he gets up Kotgw and let your tzidkus I spire us and yourself

Anything to do with Hashem?

dms1234 wrote:


What do you mean?

You are doing so many steps but how about getting closer to Hashem and wanting do His will NOT yours?

Deleted.

Hello everyone. I am back. I had another bad fall. Much much worse than anything Ive done previously. Random chat with strangers, girls, legal age, and... yep. Photo sharing. Today I messaged them and told them that I am cutting the contact and I cant keep doing this. I told them not to answer me if I ever try to contact them again.

I feel a lot worse with this than I would have with p*rn. Those girls are just as much a victim of this as I was. It was a lot more real, it was actual cheating.

This time I am not telling my wife. I cant Icant I cant.

Goodbye letters....yes, I have written several of those myself.
don't contact me ever again!....That - I have done as well (they even listened!)
Don't respond when I reach out and beg.....uuummmmm....didn't have such good success with that one.

Ok sir; good first moves anyhow, but this sickness of ours tends to get steadily worse - especially when unchecked.
What are we gonna do to change our lives, so we can manage for the moment?

b'hatzlachah

I'm sorry to hear than you are having a rough time. We are here for you now, and always.