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TOPIC: Tryin' 266012 Views

Re: Tryin' 15 Jan 2015 19:12 #247239

  • cordnoy
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so I still wanna elaborate on that change thing, but life moves on (always changin'), so I wrote an email to a dear chaver today:

and after I davened that God is in control and not me (which by the way, I have done in every tefillah this week....basically the same nusach), and after I said basic third step prayer, and after I specified people in my tefillah (such as you, ploni, almoni, my wife, two of my daughters, two of my sons, my parents, in-laws, family and friends), I did somethin' that I haven't done in a long time - I slipped my name into it as well.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: Tryin' 20 Jan 2015 09:20 #247419

  • gevura shebyesod
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By request of our Exalted Moderator, this is a 'Fishel Test Post.
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Tryin' 21 Jan 2015 23:55 #247489

  • cordnoy
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And now I can tell you thanks.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: Tryin' 22 Jan 2015 19:46 #247523

  • cordnoy
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I noticed that I am not lookin' thru women any longer.

To be clearer: In the past, I would look and then my mind would begin to wander and that would cause fantasy. I still look (at times), but that is where it stops.

Interestin'....
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

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Re: Tryin' 22 Jan 2015 20:34 #247526

  • ddmm11219
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lucky u
...וְאִם גַּם אֶתְאַמֵּץ בְּעֵצוֹת וְתַחְבֻּלוֹת וְכָל יוֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל יַעַמְדוּ לִימִינִי לְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְלִתְמֹךְ נַפְשִׁי, מִבַּלְעֲדֵי עֻזְּךָ וְעֶזְרָתְךָ אֵין עֶזְרָה וִישׁוּעָה...‬

מתוך תפילה נפלאה שחיבר הרה"ק רבי מאיר מאפטא זצוק"ל, בעל מחבר ספר "אור לשמים", ונדפסה בתחילת ספרו.

Re: Tryin' 26 Jan 2015 17:17 #247647

  • cordnoy
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So, we made it!
As we were pullin' into the driveway, I said "Baruch Hashem."
Wife agreed.
Then I added, "I could not have done it without Him."
Wife thought I said "her," so she asked, "What did I do?"
I eventually answered that with some compliments towards her, but first I said, "I said that I could not have done it without Him."
Wife understood, and was kinda impressed, for that is not my usual shprach (she hasn't been listenin' to my Shemoneh Esrei's lately).
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: Tryin' 27 Jan 2015 00:54 #247675

  • cordnoy
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Perhaps someone can explain to me the third step prayer: thanks

God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!

What am I offering to Him?
What is He building?
Is the "relieving of bondage of self" meaning that I am not in control?
When He takes away my difficulties, is the purpose that I should spread the Word of God?

One general question: It says that step 3 is action, and also that it is thought?
Which is it, and what is the "action" they are referring to?
Living life knowing this fact?

thank you
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Tryin' 27 Jan 2015 08:57 #247696

  • cordnoy
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thanks for your responses.

either in the white book or in the step into action book; I will look bli neder tomorrow.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 27 Jan 2015 08:58 by cordnoy.

Re: Tryin' 27 Jan 2015 19:15 #247709

  • cordnoy
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A response sent to me via email:

What am I offering to Him?


I try to imaging myself offering my will to him. It sometimes seems vague to me, but especially in regards to this disease I surrender to the idea that acting out is against his will for me even if in my mind I can make it seem OK.

What is He building?
Is the "relieving of bondage of self" meaning that I am not in control?


To me this line has always resonated because it brings to mind the burdens, troubles and heaviness of mind that resulted from my self-seeking. In other words, trying to satisfy the cravings and insecurities through acting out was a type of bondage that I definitely want to be released from.

When He takes away my difficulties, is the purpose that I should spread the Word of God?


Within the context of the program, I see this as being willing to work step 12 when it is time.


One general question: It says that step 3 is action, and also that it is thought?
Which is it, and what is the "action" they are referring to?


I presume the act of saying the prayer, but I am sure there are deeper things to ponder here.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Tryin' 27 Jan 2015 20:29 #247712

  • gibbor120
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cordnoy wrote:
Perhaps someone can explain to me the third step prayer: thanks
I'll take a crack at it as I understand it.

cordnoy wrote:
God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
I offer myself to you, to use me as you wish, to do your will. Meaning, I offer myself to you as a tool in your hand for your will to be done. (think maariv on yom kippur, the piyut about how we are like glass in the hands of the glassblower etc...)

cordnoy wrote:
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Release me from my selfish wishes, so I can do your will instead of mine. My selfishness is the obsticle which prevents me from acting as your tool (and instead doing what I want).

cordnoy wrote:
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
help me overcome nisyonos, for that brings kiddush hashem. "to those I would help" is I guess those who would be helped by my victory/kiddush hashem. (this part is the least clear to me)

cordnoy wrote:
May I do Thy will always!
self-explanetory

I'm not sure if I helped or cleared anything up, but that is my take.

Re: Tryin' 28 Jan 2015 23:38 #247776

  • cordnoy
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My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Tryin' 28 Jan 2015 23:45 #247777

  • shomer bro
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Oh where oh where has my shmeichel gone, oh where oh where can he be?

Re: Tryin' 28 Jan 2015 23:47 #247778

  • cordnoy
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Please don't continue that song.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Tryin' 29 Jan 2015 01:25 #247788

  • shomer bro
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I wasn't planning on it, but why not?

Re: Tryin' 29 Jan 2015 02:29 #247790

  • cordnoy
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oh where o where has my baby gone
the good Lord......
She's gone......so I gotta be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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