Pidaini


I call it Positive Programming, or in other words, talking to ourselves. We need to tell ourselves what we believe and we will begin to believe it.

We all have had experiences in which we were worried about how things would go. In the end, they worked out well, even when they didn't unfold exactly how we thought they should. If we remember such instances, we can assure ourselves that Hashem is taking care of us now just like He did then.

Pidaini,
I think you know the answer to that one. Talk to Hashem every day. Let Him in on your frustrations and angers. Build that relationship with Him.

I don't trust strangers. If you make Hashem as a stranger, then you won't trust Him either. If you make Him as your friend, then you will learn to trust in Him. I am sure that you can tell me from your own experience that when you keep things to yourself and try to solve all your problems without reaching out to G-d, then you have a tougher time dealing with those problems.

There's a nice vort from the Heilige Rizhiner Rebbe zy"a on the Possuk in Tehillim:
עד אנה תסתיר פניך ממני
עד אנה אשית עצות בנפשי
Regular Pshat is:
Until when will You (Hashem) hide your face from me?
Until when will I seek ideas for my soul?
But the Rizhiner said:
Until when will Hashem hide His face from me?
As long as I seek ideas on my own.
When we stop trying to be in control, and we surrender to Hashem, believing that only He can help us, that's when the hester panim will end and we will merit to see the salvation from Hashem

Amen

MT

Note that the 4th-7th steps come after the 1st 3 steps.

Great vort! Actually there is a black on white Mishnah in Avos that says one must nullfiy one's will before one can accept the will of HaShem.

Well, that's not exactly what the mishna says. I think it says "If you want things to go your way, then nullify your will before His Will," no? My point is that it does not say "you must do this." It's just a word to the wise, a suggestion for a certain result which we may agree is best.

I see too many ideals in Torah and sforim being interpreted in the hearts of yidden as "One must"s and "You have to"s...I used to do that so often and so automatically, that it really ruined things for me for years and years.

So I share it here w you my chaver.

Dov-Look at the Sefer Ymei HaSefirah on Pirkei Avos on that Mishneh and especially the Perushim cited by R Sacks ( Agudah of Passaic) on that Mishneh of R Yonah, Meiri , Midrash Shmuel, Reishis Chachmah, R Chaim Vital, and Rashi who all understand that Mishneh as emphasizing doing Avodas HaShem BSimcha or MeAhavas HaShem.

Thank you, thank you chaver! I will try to do just what you suggest, in shul this evening.
My heart is oozing with gratitude right now...just got off the phone with an old GYE guy who is really making wonderful progress after a long, sinding trip. And now I see this gift from you!

Have a good night, chaver (and chaveirim)

It's been 13 days 5 hours since I've looked at any porn (that's not OCD, it's from an automatic counter). I've fallen but without porn.

I wouldn't have thought that staying away entirely from porn would be so difficult. It feels like it's making me insane. But in truth, that just proves how insane I've been all along.


Something is hidden for guests. Please log in or register to see it.

btw Dov, I still have problems with the logic of your post last week, but it's really become a moot point. I went to my first SA meeting last week. No, nothing happened. I wasn't caught, I haven't hit rock bottom as such. I'm just fed up. It's been 2 years and I don't have enough to show for that to just sit back and continue in the same way.

Wow!
Great news!
How was it?
I wasn't able to go to my regular one today; first time I missed.

b'hatzlachah

Dr.Watson wrote:


So...you joined the Moot? (LOTR fans - especially of the books - will understand)

And BTW, I think being fed up is a excellent reason to move on, and always have.

Hatzlocha, Doc.

Glad to hear about the progress, Doc.

If I may, I'm going to say that being fed up = rock bottom while still on top.

I never hit anywhere near rock bottom, except for being fed up, and I was really fed up, done, tired of getting back up and falling a short while later without a fight. I had had it.

BH, that got me to good places, and my life has been different since.

Welcome!!

I saw this video today and I thought it was great:

youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ypRRzz7tf9Q

The bit that stuck with me was "If you don't make a change things will stay the same. Then you'll know exactly how the next 5 years will pan out. It will be pretty much the same as the last 5 years"

R' Wallerstein said a while ago, the greatest trick of the yetzer hora can be summed up with one word: different. Somehow we can be so easily tricked into thinking that no matter what has happened in the past, next time will be different. No matter what happened to someone else, I'm different. She's different. My wife's different. It's different.

You know what, I'm not different. My addiction's not different, my preference of porn isn't different, the way I masturbate isn't different. And if I don't do something different, my future won't be different from my past either.

So at the SA meetings i'll look out for for the gentleman with long sideburns and thick bushy mustache.