[quote="MBJ" post=207411
We are adama, and will always have our adama urges, the difference becomes in how we let those urges carry us and dictate to us. I am very happy that you made it to 100+ days, but you are still aways away from being cured and normal, let alone perfect.[/quote]

Agreed MBJ that we can't be perfect never, and expecting to be perfect, and not getting there can lead to feelings of depression. I get that.
But I feel there is a bit of a stira here, you say we will always have adam urges, but we must not let them dictate to us. If so that is normal, what do you mean when you say, we are far away from being cured and normal.
it is Normal is to have these urges then and we must try to be the master over them. Cured, I suppose is in levels of how addicted to lust we were, and how it overtook our lives. Living day by day clean, is to be cured, or not?
I think I'm more concerned about the normal, than the cure?

here is a quote, it was on Kedusha's thread. I'd like it to be my signature if someone will tell me how to do that.

We are not fighting the YH as a process to get through in order to be able to get back to normal life; the fight with the YH is the essence of our existence

For me this sums up my viewpoint here, our aim is not to get back to a normal life, this is our life, our normal life.

israel613120 wrote:

- Click the "Profile" Tab at the top of the page. (Next to "Index" "Recent Topics" ...)

- Click the "Edit" Button on the far right

- Click the "Profile Information" Tab and scroll down to the bottom of the page. There is a text area for your signature.

unfortunately i fell on shabbos and again on motzai shabbos. it wasnt pretty (never is). Hashem has guided me to people who are helping me in a non virtual way. i need to be connecting more to people. i hope to be spending as little time as possible on line so i dont know how often i'll be checking in. Hashem gave me two months since my last fall. they were awesome. time to get up again.
love you guys
avi

I just want to say well done for getting through 2 months. I haven't had 2 clean months since I was 12 years old, I'm jealous of you for that. I'm sure you do this, keep at it.

Dear Avi,

Be aware that guilt is the Yetzer Hara's best friend. The past is out of our control. It is therefore none of our business. We do have some say in what happens RIGHT NOW. After a fall, we may find it helpful to think about the patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors leading up to it. That way, we can try to learn and grow, which is exactly what the Yetzer Hara wants us NOT to do. He wants us to live in the past, (especially the dark past), or think about the future, (ie. how will I ever stay sober for more than 2 months, more than a year, I'm going to be like this my whole life, ahahah! blahblahblah). Just focus on today, or the next hour.

We have to also know that Hashem ALWAYS wants our tefillos. We should not fool ourselves into thinking that we are to low to reach out to Hashem - HE IS EVERYWHERE. That means, even in our darkest moments, Our Loving Father In Heaven Is There With Us. Ask Him for help. We are never alone (but we can pretend to be). The Yetzer Hara is Hashem's fiery angel - don't beat yourself up for loosing the battle. You will win the war - Hashem will win it for you.

With love,

Syata

nitzotzeloki wrote:

Amen!

Find it amazing that you went 2 months clean! Ever since I first M, I have never gone even 1 month clean! Even after visiting this site for more than a year, the best I have done is a week. Don't underestimate your achievement.

B"H its been a good week. spent most of it speaking to fellow strugglers about how we can improve our own journey as well as be of service to others. Hashem gave me an amazing gift and i know that im not starting again but continuing on my journey.

its been awhile since i posted on my own thread. so heres some updates
@alex, i got 'feeling good' by david burns and ive been finding the techniques to be very helpful. thanks for the suggestion
i went into yerushalayim to meet some of the chevra. it was a short meeting but totally worth the travel time. meeting people in real life makes the forum more meaningful. i hope that Bizras Hashem these meetings will happen more.

Good stuff!!

shabbosim have been really hard for me lately. B"H this shabbos was great.

"Mi shetarach B'erev Shabbos (thursday night at O.I.N.K) yochal B'Shabbos"

the O.I.N.K. meeting for sure helped! and thats due to you guys.

I'm liking the new avatar avi!

thanks! i was wondering if it would be breaking anonymity due to its close resemblance to yours truly but hey, sometimes we gotta take chances in life