gibbor120 wrote on 30 Dec 2011 13:59:

hi gibbor,
I actually dont really learn mussar - i learn chasidus chabad. and i do feel that it helps, however this addiction obviously requires special help that this website offers. (although so many of the tips on this website are found in chasidus it is just that we are so involved in our addiction we often do not connect with concepts found in chasidus with helping ourselves and we need GYE to point out to us exactly how to implement chasidus as a tool to help us with the addiction, like Aleph-bais teachers teaching children who know how to talk how to write). Chovos halevavos is one of the mussar seforim that is encouraged within chabad to learn and i have seen plenty of letters from the Lubavitcher Rebbe to people lacking emunah and bitachon to learn shaar habitachon. now, i was talking to an alcoholic who recovered using the 12-step program 5 years ago who told me that you can't have the 12-step program without strong bitachon and emunah, and if shaar habitachon can strengthen that, why not...?

The only think i will add is that I don't think that learning and working on your emunah without opening up to another person will do the trick.  We can be krum in our own heads.  Get out of your own head and open up to another person about the nature of your problem.

Finally...SUCCESS!
Every time that i fall this is pretty much what happens.... i feel a tremendous pull towards lust that  simply cannot break away from. since joining GYE i have learnt to ask HASHEM to help me just today, just for five minutes let me LIIVE! And eventually i fall because i feel that this urge is ME. it is what I want. Who cares about what hashem wants? IIII want it. (before GYE i would try mevatel myself by saying who cares about what i, a mere nivra, wants what about what hashem wants? but, of course, it was just like music in the background). So, i would fall.
Today, i had the same feeling and was about to fall..... but first i did a bit of a chipus in myself. is this REALLY what i want? YES YES YES!! and slowl but surely i got into touch with a deeper side of me that in pnimyus, even at a time of a nefila my true I wants to do what Hashem wants. and from my pnimyus i begged of hashem to help me just for today take away my lust. beforehand it felt to me that the lust was my pnimyus and my prayer (or attempt to mevatel my ratzon before GYE) was chitzoni. memale, at the end of the day i will do what my 'pnimyus' wants, right? today, for the first time since i can remember i felt that i touched a point where i sensed my true pnimius, the cry of my inner soul who cried out to hashem to get rid of the lust.

And, i was clean. just today. just 1 day at a time

Now your'e talking!!

helpme - call me if you want. jack

helpme, you're on the train! just keep training or trucking or whatever...

Keep posting and sharing...

And ONE DAY AT A TIME! That is so important. Live in the PRESENT moment. Your life is always taking place NOW, it's never taking place in the past of future. So if you're thinking about past/future, you're not LIVING.

I finally managed to speak to someone over the phone. It really gave me a sense of the reality of the problem, and not just digital help on the computer. It was a real life person who had been through the same problem in a much more extreme way than myself and it really gave me a boost.

At the time, I was home alone for an hour and really felt like.... and thought that for sure after we hang up i will immediately go on the computer and... but, we made a deal that i wouldn't give in for just an hour, for him. at first, i didnt think i was shayach to such a thing when home alone. i even made the taina that its unfair to hold back for such a long time because then my wife will come home and the time wouldve gone by and I wouldve missed my oppurtunity to see my virtual friends on the computer. So, we decided for 10 minutes not to give in. I called my mother and spoke to her for 20 minutes. Havent done that for a while. Now, i am doing chumash and shortly my wife is coming home and i can now greet her feeling like a true husband...ive just realised that i havent been able to do that for a while.. it seems that every time i have been home alone i have had a nefila. This is the first in a while. Finally, my wife will come home, i will smile at her, look her in the eyes and let her know that i love her!!!!

PS...i dont know if the person who i spoke to lets me publicise who it is, ill have to find out soon. but thankyou!
And i know it hasnt stopped there. there is a lot more days to go from here...!!!

Keep up the good going one hour at a time.
Mottel
P.S. Call me if you want, too.

Wow that's great! KUTGW!!!

Gevura!

it doesn't mstter who it is, but on that question, maybe our fearless leader can answer if it should be publicized or not.i guess it depends on if it will help anyone - that's the way it should be handled - that's what's really important.
the main thing is that you were able to exert a little effort and showed yourself that you can do it! dont drop the ball - keep going, a LITTLE at a time. you have started on the road to recovery - dont look back.
jack

HelpMe,

My heart is full of happiness for you!!!
good job!
keep on!

You are discovering something now, not just an idea, but putting it into practice. You are right, it doesn't stop here - it begins here. Yyasher kochacho!

ah.....not surrendering......ah........living life......ah......awaiting my next conversation on Wednesday. day by day. hour by hour. minute by minute. Just telling the yetzer horo another 5 minutes. The funny thing is that I've heard mashpiim farbreng about this, etc. and never actually done it. ive tried but it just hasnt worked! I figured that it is a matter of trust. A mashpia who is telling me to do it might have never been in my position. How can I trust him that it works? By speaking to someone who has been there. and practiced this. and it worked. him i can trust. if it worked for him, it can work for me.

This website has to be advertised all over the world! No Jew should be left without this website! We have to tell all mechanchim, rabonim, etc!

dear helpme: it is on its way to be known throughout the world.this great fellow who is doing this is making sure of that.there are dinners, brochures sent to yeshivas, parlor meetings, trips around the world, etc.our leader is moser nefesh for the klal - and he should be helped by anyone who can, in any way possible! and he has haskomos from gedolim, too!

jack

Maybe only in America. Here in Israel it is pretty silent. How does one go about distributing flyers in his area without people suspecting you?...