Yedid,
Yasherkoach for taking up this challenge.
Hashem will help you succeed.
Let me ask you, besides for just trying to exercise raw self control, what are you doing?  Here on GYE, we find it helpful to treat this like an addiction (for many of us it certainly is one).  We use techniques that addicts use and see results.  The most successful approach is working the 12 steps to recovery.

Are you doing any of this, or just fighting really hard and posting here?

We're gonna see you through to success!
Alex

To alexeliezer, I guess you right and you made me realise that iv got to use all the tools I can get. Thanks! i will bli neder look into the 12 steps soon
Today is day 3 - Baruch Hashem making progress. My eyes are still wandering and it was a bit of a confusing day but BH all is good.

have you had a look at this yet? the info is very useful. try acting on it and not pushing it off.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

Hi to heuni memass
thanks for the message. I know how important filter is but unfortunately I view the website off a family members laptop so I cant install one. I just rejoined the Chizuk emails which i was actually at one stage subscribed to but then i unsubscribed. Ironically as I went onto my email to check quite a pritzudik advert came up. As for the chart it just seems a bit intimidating at the moment for some reason. And the call groups arent going to happpen at the moment as im still in school living off my parents money and phoning overseas(no not everyone lives in america) would be expensive and and my parents would suspect something if they would see the phone bill.I will bli neder download the handbook soon.

Anyways, today Baruch Hashem is day 4!!! everyday feels like a massive accompishment. Tonight i am bli ayin horah feeling strong so id like to do a lot of learning its just that the YH demotivates me so much so please just daven for me quick. This week iv noticed that im spending large amounts of time on the internet(maybe 1.5 hours a night) so for now on bli neder im cutting down to 40 minutes which may seem like a lot ut its an improvement.
Today i decided to try maintain Shmiras Eyinayim throughout the day. BH it was succesful with on a couple(very very minor) incidents.

Shabbos Kodesh around the corner!!!

Tizkeh Lmitzvot!!!

yedid_nefesh wrote on 08 Sep 2011 18:12:


Don't know what email service you are using, but maybe you need to switch.  Gmail seems to be kosher in the AD dept.  I know AOL is awful.

Yedid,
4 days is a massive accomplishment.  It is the product of hundreds of little decisions not to look, not to fantasize, not to touch, to keep busy.

Keep taking it one day at a time.

Also, do what you have to do on the internet and get off.  Don't wander aimlessly.  Don't linger there in front of the computer with nothing particular to do.

Reach out to Hashem with tfila immediately whenever you feel tempted by lust.  Early interception is the best (and maybe the only) way to beat this.

Shteig on!
Alex

YN,  glad to hear that.

Day 4 is huge.

download the handbook and read it as soon as possible. It got great info and chizuk.

remember each and every look we avoid we get reward. load it on.

have a wonderful day!

-hm

Baruch Hashem day 5

SHABBOS KODESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok i fell on Motzai Shabbos and sunday so im back to day one. It was a long and difficult fall but the 6 days clean is something to remember .

Every clean day is yours to keep forever. Keep adding to the collection!

Gevura!

AMAZING!
how did you pick yourself up?

Yedid,
Many of us find motzei Shabbos particularly dangerous.  Maybe because we're just rested up from Shabbos with nothing in particular to do.  Try keeping your Shabbos shluf to a minimum, maybe commit to a chavrusa in the afternoon.  Plan something to do motzei Shabbos and stay away from the computer.  Prevention is everything in this battle.  (In general, I stay away from the computer whenever family is not around.)

Now back up and at 'em.
Alex

Sorry to hear that - it seems like you are feeling stuck like we all do when we are in the rut. what have you been doing to help stop? do you have filters? did you read the hand book?

repeat after me:

FELL SHMELL!!!!

I WONT STAY ON THE FLOOR

GOOD FOR YOU YH

U KNOCKED ME DOWN I WILL BE BACK

repeat after me:

FELL SHMELL!!!!

I WONT STAY ON THE FLOOR

GOOD FOR YOU YH

U KNOCKED ME DOWN I WILL BE BACK

STRONGER

AND GUESS WHAT YH??

YOU EXPOSED YOURSELF

I KNOW WHAT TO AVOID FOR THE FUTUR

LETS ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL