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Hi, this is my second time on the forum. Last year around this time I started telling of my daily battle, failures, successes, this continued for about 3 weeks in which I BH enjoyed some success. I then left after having a long period of time being unable to acess the forum. Unfortunately the situation hasnt improved since last year.

Iv been thinking in my mind over the last few weeks if I should take a look at guardyoureyes but last night after falling badly( about every 3 or 4 days for who knows how long) I decided its Elul im not making progress in this area and I need to take action.

Just to tell you a bit about myself Im quite close to finishing high school. To people on the outside I look like solid in my Torah observance. I learn well, do the right things and I am generally respected by my friends. For the past about four years I have greatly struggled with Shmirat Aynayim and material on the web. And for about the past 2 and a half years with shichvat zera.

Baruch Hashem iv been growing in other areas but theses issues have dragged me down greatly and the amount of bitul Torah and bitul zman resulting from this are astronomical. My yetzer hora has been telling me to not waste so much time posting on this forum. I want to grow this Elul and arrive at the Yamim Noraim feeling accomplishment. Usually the growth in Ruchnius will last a few days and then the YH arrives and wreaks havoc. This time I want to battle and succeed  with the help of the Boreih Olam!!!!

Welcome back! We got your truck out of storage, all washed and shiny and ready to go! So get it and start Trucking^TM !

Gevura!

Hi Yedid -

An all too common problem.

Just to touch on the point about your Y"H telling you not to post here  becuse of bittul zman.

I had a sort of similiar issue I am in my mid- 20's and working full time. Over the past couple of years (BH I stopped now) I woud take off 3 hours or so and go watch a movie at theater. I never thought hey I should be working now (I am not even going into the problems of going to a theater). Yet recently when I wanted to take an hour of and learn during the day my YH said "you know you really have a job and you should be working"! He never told me anything when it came to movies.

I think that because you have this feeling that posting here is bitul zman there is no better reason for you to be here. Please Post away. I think it was ialexeliezer (I am not sure) who quoted someone that said "mussr only works for basc shmiras eynayim.. Once you in a lust hot spot you really need to supplement the mussar with some 12 step or sponsor programs.

ninety

Wow iv hardly been on for 15 minutes and there are replies! Its great to see how people are so active on the forum.

Just to say whats been happening today. So this morning I was letting myself go and looking at every women. Then my thoughts wandered to the fact that this afternoon Im joining the forum. Even just thinking this was Chizuk in itself! The YH is fascinating really; from that minute I deccided to be strong literally 2 minutes later he was throwing at me all these oppurtunities to look at passing by women! But with Siyata Dishmaya I persisted and now BH im part of one of the holiest communities in this world - the guardyoureyes forum.

It is interesting how we feel and how different the truth is from that.

When we are already deep in the dung of pornography it is so hard to claw our way out before falling. Yet the battle is not when we are knee deep. It's when we are just starting and a pretty woman passes by. Do we look or do we look away? That is where the battle must be fought!

ninety

Welcome Back!  I look forward to hearing from you.  I just joined a couple of months ago myself.  Definitely DO NOT LET UP! KOT!

Yedid:

It is very inspiring to me that a guy still in H.S. is already on the fast road to recovery.  You sound like you have your head on streight and that you are a ben aliya.

Hatzlach Rabba 

Hi all, today started out as a good day but things just deteriorated.This afternoon I'm strengthening myself. I haven't fallen or anything but I do have one big problem on my hands.You see I have this teacher who I'm attracted to and she teaches me a few times a week.It is extremely difficult for me to maintain shmirat aynayim when I have her. and like today it ruins the rest of the day even if Im going strong. I don't know what to do.? I need chizuk in this area as the Yetzer Hara clearly has an advantage in this scenario.Anyway I hope everyone has a great Shabbos.

you reminded me of an expirience i had
a close freind asked me once to come along with him, as he is going for the first time to have an interview to arrange lessons for computer programming with a large firm, we drove there in NJ, we arrived to a big building, we walk into the lobby the secretary asked him what he came for, and went to call out the interviewer for him, there came out a nice dressed girl greeting him that she will interview him, thereby raising her hand to my freind for a handshake, and he gave her his handshake, then she turned to me for a handshake, i told her that its nothing personal but according to the jewish law its not appropriate, she said "eich vies eich been ouch a yid", my freind ran out of there with shame

Shavua Tov. Yes its that time of the week where things are perhaps the most difficult and gloomy. Bechasdei Hashem I have reached day 3 and BH feel great. Iv fallen som many Motzashes so im gonna try have Yishuv Hadaat and just get through this bottleneck.CHAZAK VEEMATZ!

Okay this is really hard for me to write but its the emet and iv got to. Motsai Shabbos all going good - then I had to go somewhere and I let my eyes wander a little to much. I then got home switched on the TV ( I agree there is no heter in the world to watch our TV) and it was down hill from there. Today(sunday) started off with promises of hope but I again had to go to a treife place and again let my eyes wander. In the afternoon I was nichshol multipe times at one stay I felt mamish immersed in the tumah - anyway its part of my Avodat Hashem to pick myself up with Siyata Dishmaya and start again. Its frustrating but Haba LItaher Mesaymin oto.

Hello. today started off solid but is quite tough at the moment.Beezrat Hashem ill come out strong

Howzit, today was grilliing. At one point I felt as if it would be impossible to continue but its all in the head. I put my head down and I was mechazek myself. Things are still difficult(although easing up a bit now-its night time in this part of the world now).
Before the YH would be chilled and let me grow for a few days knowing that if he lets me count a few days the disapointment will be massive. But now hes changed his strategies hes freaking out that Hashem has given me this great website so hes pushing like crazy for a fall

keep on trucking

15 minutes at a time