I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I've been thinking about it.

The more stories I read on this heilig website, the more I realize that I may not be as bad off as I thought. I don't suffer from hyper-sexuality (extremely easily triggered), I don't get unreasonably "needy" when in a public place or other brazenly inappropriate situation to act out. Sure, I haven't gone a whole week without M in, say, 8 years, but somehow that feels someone benign compared to the other stories I've read here. So, my question is: Am I really addicted, or do I simply have issues with self-control? Or maybe there's just different levels of addiction, and I just don't have a heavy addiction.

I always thought that the definition of an addict is someone who acts on an urge even when he knows that the action is ultimately destructive and counter-intuitive.

I'm sure I'll get some awesome answers from you guys

Leaving this one to the pros. But it sounds to me you answered all your own questions. :D

Hyper sexuality is a symptom not a definition.
Brazenly inappropriate is a jerk not an addict.

Your third option may be the closest.

The general opinion here is that it doesn't matter all that much unless you plan on attending live groups.  If you plan on working the 12 steps or other programs, or just getting chizuk on this site, who cares if you are an addict or not?

Me3 wrote on 25 May 2011 20:52:


Practically, it makes no difference to me (right now).

I'm just looking for some clarity on the issue.

Here is the place to look to see what level you are on.


http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/Newsletter01/GYE%20in%20a%20Nutshell%202011.pdf

well, that about sums it up  :D

Thanks.

musicman wrote on 25 May 2011 21:25:


If you're truly interested, wait 3 years, then look back honestly at your life as it was before you moved on.  I really wouldn't get hung up even asking the question at the moment

I'm still confused as to where I am, where I was, and why I was there.  And I've spent a very long time considering all of these things.

That's probably good advice. I'll just keep taking it one day at a time, and worry about it intellectually later.

TheJester wrote on 25 May 2011 21:59:


Wow, excellent!

The definition is a trick. The experience of most addicts I know is like AA's:

Does your problem make your inner or outer life into a mess?

If it does, and you want to stop, are you successsful at doing so, or not?

In their lingo, do you believe that your lust makes your life unmanageable and that you are powerless over it, or not? If yes, then you are an addict - as far as AA/SA members are concerned - and can freely borrow their program of recovery.

There is no 'mitzvah' nor anything inherently good about believing you are an addict, as there is no religion called "recovery"! The ones who do believe that about themselves are only the lucky ones if they are right, not if they are wrong. Then they are just barking up the wrong tree and never get clean, anyhow.

It is purely a question of what you believe are the facts about yourself. No one has any business hoping or trying to convince you of anything here, as far as I am concerned.

My 2 cents.

If I was still asking myself the question (I've decided not to), it would be for simple self-honesty reasons. I like to know who I'm dealing with, from a scientific perspective, before I start working out a battle plan.

But, like we concluded above, it really isn't worth the time and effort dwelling on the question, because there really isn't a scientific answer, and you make yourself what you want to be.

Wow!!!

What a beautiful, short, to the point, thread!!

thanks for bringin' it up.
It is short and it is to the point.
There are, however, several points there, as not everyone is sayin' the exact same thin'.
Some said there's no difference.
Other (s) said there might be, but it's up to you, as to what you decide to do about it.

The best line I saw is from me3:
Hyper sexuality is a symptom not a definition.
Brazenly inappropriate is a jerk not an addict.

and if he's been masturbatin' for 8 years, good chance his life is unmanageable, but he was lookin' at it from the wrong perspective.

Either way, thanks for the thread bumpin'.

bhatzlachah

Personally unless you do it daily or you browse/and or chat with others that you shouldn't I think its a normal self control issue. But I am no expert and I am I think an addict as I am in a lot worse shape then you.

On the surface it would sound like you are in pretty good shape and with a little push can imporve yourself.
Disclaimer, I can't judge and perhaps your small yetzer hara as even harder to overcome then my big one. I am not sure that our nisyanos are measured via who commits the more severe frequent and worse avira verse who does it less often and less severe.
But again from an addict's point of view you are good. Its like you only get shikkur by a kiddush. Are you an addict then? But of course should you continue getting shikkur?

A person who simply desires a cupcake but is not an addict, won't leave their house at 10:30pm in search of a store that has cupcakes...

reallygettingthere wrote:


howbout pickles?