Pain and depression are topics that I have whole lot of experience with. First of all, about pain. Emotional pain hurts WAY more than physical pain. But the gain is according to the pain. Physical surgery involves physical pain and gives physical benefit. Spiritual surgery involves emotional pain, and it gives REAL ETERNAL SPIRITUAL benefit.
The same is true about the time issue. Physical surgery may take a few hours and benefit us for a few decades. Spiritual surgery may take a few decades (the Mesilas Yeshorim says that this is proof that this world is just a preparation for the next), and it benefits us for ETERNITY. The question is not how to avoid the pain, but rather how to handle the pain. When we learn to have bitachon and make our live's focus on "What do I need to do right now?" instead of being self-centered; when we develop an intimate relationship with Hashem, the pain becomes much much easier to handle.
Depression is a different question, because it is partially in our hands. In general, depression comes from the notion that things could have been and/or should have been different. So of course, as you strengthen your Emunah and Bitachon more and more, the depression gets less and less. But even more important, is the question of how we react to feelings of depression. We all know that depression is extremely destructive, so when we start feeling depressed, we tend to get very depressed about being depressed.
About 15 years ago, I learned the sefer Tzidkas Hatzadik. It had a humongously positive effect on my life, but there was one thing I couldn't begin to understand. He says (in #57) that Hashem gives a person ("mi she'zocheh - who is worthy") depression as a tikkun for his sins. (He explains that this is considered gehinom and such a person does not need to go to gehinom afterwords.) I couldn't imagine how this can be. To me, depression is the most evil thing and it brings a person down in the most vicious way. What kind of tikkun is that?
But recently, I was zocheh to understand. Everything that Hashem gives us is GOOD, even depression. The important question is - as always, "what do we do with it?". This is the key to a happy life: stop thinking about what you have or don't have, and start thinking about what you need to do. (That's other words for: stop living the problem; start living the solution). R' Tzadok is telling us the most genius advice over here. When you feel depression, instead of getting upset about it, REJOICE - thank Hashem for finding you worthy of giving you your tikkun the - relatively - easy way! Instead of getting in to a whole phase of depression, be happy about it!
When I understood this, I couldn't help but to picture the Yetzer Hara eating himself up alive over this discovery. If we can just internalize this, he's dead meat!
The past couple of days have been bad for me. I've fallen a couple of times, surfed a lot, and had many thoughts of suicide. But, yesterday I went to see Rav Shlachter (a religious sex-addiction therapist in Jerusalem, author of the book "The First Day of the Rest of my Life") for the first time. I think we connected, and I liked what I heard from him. I left him with a feeling of hope that I haven't felt in a while. I was actually somewhat happy this morning. I am scheduled to see him again next week.
It's disappointing that many people seem to join GuardYourEyes and run with the 90 days thing, while I've struggled and really tried for the pst 8 months, without being able to pull off significant stretches of staying clean.
I think the answer is, that for some, this site is enough. For others, like me, we need more help. We need to find out the root of why we go to the internet in the first place, and replace our subconscious needs with something more positive and constructive.
Like the GYE handbook points out (as you progress through the 18 tools), there's a solution for everyone - but we just have to find it. And it's different for each of us. Ask yourself: "Do I need therapy? And if I am already going to therapy, am I seeing the right type of therapist for me?" Also ask yourself, "Can I benefit from the 12-Steps? And if I am already in a 12-Step group, am I really working the steps with a sponsor?"