Endowed with wisdom
Learn how to bear the mental pain of saying "No" to yourself. Naturally, we go to what feels good and we stay away from pain. We got that from cows. Animals don't understand that a painful experience can be beneficial. Try and explain surgery to a cow. All the cow understands is "Food", I go. "Pain", I go away.
But we humans were endowed with wisdom! Tell yourself, the pain I feel when saying "no" is GOOD for me. The pain I feel is HEALING me, and it is also fixing all that I have damaged in the past.
Here's something an x-addict wrote about pain on an Arutz Sheva Forum:
Many find themselves in destructive behavior when they feel pain and don't see a way out. When I felt pain, I wanted a way to avoid it ... which only took me further from reality.
It's OK to sit with pain ... it's better than the mind-numbing behaviors that remove us from the world.
Thank G-d that we FEEL AGAIN! ... even if it's pain.
Be assured that you are making progress.