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Don't let past failures defeat you

GYE Corp. Sunday, 06 May 2012

"Rabbeinu Yonah discusses various barriers to teshuva in Sha'arei Teshuva. But perhaps the greatest barrier most of us experience is a lack of belief in our capacity to change"... Yonason Rosenblum in an article on (Click here for the full article).


The Biggest Obstacle

The following excerpts were taken from

Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop. It might have been only for a day, but they tried - and they failed. If you've tried to overcome sex addiction before and weren't able to, the biggest barrier to your success is believing you cannot succeed.

Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. He doesn't believe he can. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. Now he's sick and tired of failing. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it.

Let's change the problem from learning to ride a bike to learning how to overcome sexual addiction. Remember that the kid felt hopeless because of his past mistakes. This same problem can become your biggest obstacle to success. But, you are not doomed to failure. A good counselor can help you identify those mistakes and help you correct them before they get in your way.

But what if you don't believe that you can correct your mistakes? Ask yourself this question: What if I'm wrong? What if my situation isn't hopeless? What if I really can overcome my addiction?

Here's what it takes to overcome sexual addiction:

  • Free will
  • Knowledge
  • Hard work.

Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. Providing the effort is up to you. Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort, you can overcome sexual addiction, once your efforts are properly guided.

Don't let past failures defeat you. Learn from them. Don't give in to hopelessness. Use it to build motivation.

The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes, your childhood or your environment. The first obstacle is the decision not to try. If you're willing to make the effort, good counseling can guide you to success. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to sexual addiction. It applies to accomplishing anything.