Changing the One Thing I Don't Want To

GYE Corp. Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Here is something to help you think about when you get jealous on the street. Having a beautiful wife does not solve our problem. I find my wife very beautiful and very attractive. I would rather be with her than anyone else, but it doesn't help my porn addiction one bit. Porn for me is no different than cocaine for a drug addict. It makes me forget my pain (only during; after it hurts worse than before) and takes me away from whatever is going on at the moment. Street lust is no different. Lust is not about fulfilling a normal need, it is about wanting what you don't have. But as soon as you get that something, lust hast to move on to the next thing.

Classical addictive thinking is that everything would be better if just I had... a wife, no wife, a different wife, etc.

As an addict I don't naturally enjoy 'the moment'. I want something outside of me to change first and then I'll be happy. For me, recovery means accepting everything around me - and changing over the one thing that I real don't want to change: ME.