Thursday, 19 January 2012

Some Things that Help Me

by Ano-nymous (See all authors)

I've partnered up with someone who I identified on the forum as someone I know in real life, and he's been a great help. Being able to talk openly about my issues with someone who really knows what it's like and will not judge me, is a great thing. I find that I'm consistently getting better at recognizing when my mind is fooling me.

As far as practical ideas go, I've found that instead of making a neder not to act out (which, once broken, does me no good), I can make a neder to give some large amount of money to tzedakah. That way, I know that if I act out, I haven't broken my neder, but I will need to part with the money (which I don't like the thought of). The amount has to be large enough that I won't want to act out, but not so large that I will go into denial mode after acting out, which would be disastrous (denial mode means pretending I didn't do it, because I can't admit to myself and others that I have decided not to give the money I promised to give, or simply lying and saying I gave the money, or any number of other paths of deceit). Don't make these kind of nedarim for long periods, but make sure to renew the neder before the old one expires.

I'm learning not to focus too much on the actual counting. Instead, I need to focus on being a healthy balanced person, and the rest will come by itself.

GYE Corp.