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"Garden of Peace" was a Game-Changer

GYE Corp. Monday, 26 December 2011

The number one thing I have gotten from GYE is the recommendation of the book "Garden of Peace". This has truly been a game changer. It has done for my marriage what SA has done for my sobriety; taken me from a novice to putting me onto the path of long-term stability and happiness.

From a man's perspective, marriage needs to be about "How can I make her happy". Once I get into the place of thinking "how she can make me happy?" I'm toast.

For years I have gone through heart wrenching cycles of happiness and utter despair in my marriage. Now I understand more clearly that when I am in the mode of "What can I do for her?" my marriage is great. As soon as I move into "What does she need to do for me?" my marriage starts to spin out of control. I have seen almost every one of the book's basic principles prove to be true in my life.

This is not theory. I am living the experiences of the book. When I follow it, everything works, when I veer off track, everything falls apart.

My biggest lessons are:

1) My wife is allergic to criticism because that is her nature as a wife, not because she is defective.

2) My biggest challenge to true shalom bayis is me, and more specifically my arrogance. I need to find true humility to make it work.

3) There is no other way to achieve shalom bayis without Emunah. I don't like that fact, but it is true.