Mazel Tov To MosheW for Reaching 90 Days Clean
MosheW wrote today:
Personal Count: 90 DAYS!!!!! My dear friends, the road has many forks, choices, choices, and more choices... Without a good "GPS" i.e. G-d, P rogram (12 steps),S upport (a good chevra, posting on the forum, etc.) it will be almost impossible to make it.
When MosheW first joined us he wrote:
Being new to the forum I would like to introduce myself. I am FFB and went to the best yeshivos, happily married with multiple children and a strong connection with some of the biggest gedolim. My issues began when "a friend" gave me a stack of magazines. Sadly, with the internet things only got worse. The cycle was always the same, I could go a few clean months, fall for a couple of days, and always get right back up for another few months. However over the past few months, I couldn't seem to pull free. That was up until 2 weeks ago when I joined the GYE community.
There were days when I would be alone in the office spending 3-4 hours going from one website to another. After which, I would spend the same amount of time feeling depressed, dirty and alone, beating myself up over the events of the last several hours. In the end, I always promised Hashem that I will never do it again, knowing in my heart full well that I will never keep my promise.
I would like to nominate the Y/H as "Employee of the Month" because since I have committed to controlling myself (on and off the internet), he has been working overtime to get me wherever he can. B"H with divine intervention, I have been doing a good job staying away from the evil websites or the "seemingly kosher" websites such as YouTube...
Another time MosheW Posted:
Everyone on this forum has reached the lofty level of Baal Teshuvah. Many Giants of the last generation have already said that to be a Baal Teshuvah one merely has to say, "Ribono Shel Olam I want to be good". No longer are the steps of admittance, regret, etc. needed. I once heard in the name of Rav Nosson Wachtfogel, the famed Lakewood mashgiach who after affirming that such was the case was asked, "but Rebbe, what about the Shelah Hakodesh who insists that the other steps are necessary?". To which the Mashgiach replied, "I just gave you away of crawling out of the mud you want to crawl back in??". No longer do we have the strength of the previous generations, just tell Hashem with sincerity that you want to be good and He will do the rest. The Medrash relates that Hashem asks of us "open for me a needle hole and I will open it to the size of a banquet hall". There is a famous question, "why a needle hole, why not another hole, for instance when one sticks his finger in the sand?" The answer given is that a needle goes "trough and through", it's may be small, but it's with a true sincerity.
B"H I am happy to report that I waking up lately with an even greater simchas hachaim than the day before. Each step is battle, not just a fight. I wish you (and everyone on the forum) the strength to win. The gemora says that the bigger a person, the bigger his Y/H. Being that we have fallen for our addiction, just think how big and lofty our nishamos must be! The Ribono Shel Olam is not only proud of this website, it was worth the thousand of years in gulos just to reap the benefits of the giants it will produce.
At his halfway mark (45 days), MosheW wrote:
There were times that I was blind, dizzy and almost "frenzy-like" with the urge and passion to give in. Up until I joined this chabura, I always gave in, my brain would just power off, not even sleep mode. But things are different now. Just keep on fighting, chevra! The more you fight the easier it gets, and with each win, more and more simcha and kedusha will enter into your heart. Just be on the lookout for new tricks of the Yetzer hara, he doesn't give up EZ.
At the risk of getting busted, I have discussed the website with many community askonim. I even hung up a poster in the Klaus where I daven.
(Hang up this flyer in your Shul or advertise it in your community newspapers or magazines: Black & White / Color. And here's a high resolution ad that can be sponsored in your local Frum news-and-advertising outlets!)
After Phillip Rosenthal mentioned our work at the Agudah Convention, MosheW Sent him an e-mail:
Thank you for stepping up to the plate. Sadly, many in the frum orthodox world are in denial. They yell and scream, labeling the internet as fehh, shmutz and fech, hoping that it will just go away. At the end of the day, we all know that the internet is here to stay. From bill paying to shopping and everything in-between, eventually it's all going to be via the internet, so instead of fighting it, embrace it and work with it. If these Rabbanim were really honest with themselves, they would raise enough money to approach Bill Gates and say, "here give us a kosher solution" (the filter of all filters, not from K9 or Jnet, but our own dedicated internet). Everyone talks about the danger for kids, yet few want to admit or discuss the danger for adults, and that it is a growing problem.
I commend you and the Aguda for standing up and shouting for people to wake up. May Hashem always protect you!!!
For the naysayers among us who fear Chillul Hashem, uncomfortable with the subject, or the ability to raise the money, I say, what could be greater in the eyes of the Ribono Shel Olam than a team-effort to help us all live lives of greater kedusha?
The last generation marched into the ovens for His sake, the least we could do is arouse ourselves with additional kedusha!!!!! As for the money, just look at all the magnificent buildings that Mosdos Hatorah are erecting daily (granted, they are all needed), not to mention the ostentatious houses going up in many Jewish neighborhoods across the country. In addition, there are many other examples of foolish public spending, all involving tremendous Chillul Hashem.
Once again thank you.