This is 'an honest mouse' here. Following from your recent chizuk email about being in touch to explain how we have grown in the past year, I just wanted to be in touch to say thanks.
After around 20 years of progressively worse behaviours with porn, masturbation, voyeurism and stalking I finally contacted GYE Help Line to set out my actual behaviours and they recommended live SA meetings. I was so scared, I even cried a little before my first meeting, as I realised there was no turning back.
But boy, how I wish I had gone earlier! Over the past 20 years I could rarely last more than 2/3 weeks without acting out. I had seen two separate therapists for 2 years each - nothing helped, and it was getting progressively worse and risky. Now, since 12 October last year, after a few weeks of finding my stride, I have only had 6 days without sobriety. Completely unimaginable before SA. But more than that, I have more self confidence, serenity, a better relationship with my wife, and I am accomplishing more at work - I am actually changing and growing in noticeable ways. I am so grateful, and I would definitely agree with the 12 step program adage, 'I prefer the worst days of recovery to my best days of acting out.' I am learning the tools to deal with life's ups and downs without escaping to my old drug.
GYE is such a great resource, I've made some real close friends here and feel that we are really growing together. Finally, words can't express my gratitude to Dov for opening my eyes with his unashamed, persistent, truthful, and blunt descriptions of the process of real change and real recovery.
Thanks to everyone involved and wishing everyone in the GYE community a kesiva vechasima tova and a year of health, recovery and serenity!