Thursday, 29 December 2011

Mi K'Amcha Yisrael!

by Reb Yid (See all authors)

"Reb Yid" wrote us recently:

Hi. I've been a Rebbe and a mentor of elementary school children for many years. I always suffered with Shmiras Ainayim since my Bar Mitzva. I've also been dealing with the addiction for about 20 years, although I didn't realize it was an addiction until recently. It started with internet addiction in my Yeshiva's office. I think it's important to make Yeshivishe Mosdos aware that just because there staff is comprised of Chushuve frum people - men and women - does not mean they are immune to this Nisayon. Their computers should be protected as well...

My biggest problem always has been the guilt. Besides that I know I shouldn't be doing these things. But I would constantly be advising and inspiring children and darshaning about the dangers of shmiras ainayim. People knew me as THE ADDRESS to send their boys for the proper Hashkafa with these issues. I feel like I was able to give inspired advice because I knew first hand about the dangers. I also was able to advise people not to allow themselves to do what I knew I had done. The worst part was, they walked away encouraged and inspired, and I walked away depressed. The knowledge and the hypocrisy was torturing me. It still does.

Thanks for all you do. I am optimistic and hopeful for the first time in a very long time.


About a week later he writes:

You guys are so wonderful. I've been fighting a silent, but losing battle for so long. It's great to hear so much determination and resolve permeating from these posts. It's amazing how in just a few days my attitude has been transformed from "I am such a low life. I am not worth anything" to "I am so lucky to be part of such a special group of people who are taking punch after punch yet fighting to live another day, to continue to grow; people who refuse to give in and have been chosen by Hashem to struggle through this battle, but they themselves have chosen to overcome and conquer." What a difference!! Mi K'amcha Yisrael!!!!!