Monday, 20 February 2012

I Had to Smile!

by Lamed Vavnik (See all authors)

I am feeling pretty low right now. I'm going through a hard time in my life financially, and I'm in the middle of switching jobs from one that I liked to one I don't know anything about. My future is totally unknown and I'm scared. But I just want to post that this is the first time that I haven't tried to escape by acting out.

I needed to get my mind off of my troubles, so I opened up my old chizuk e-mails that I haven't read yet. And I'm posting here on the forum. I also checked my progress on the chart and I just had to smile: 20 days! I don't know if I've ever done that in my life; for sure not with this good of an attitude.

I hope that list of virtues for shmiras habris that was sent out in the daily shmiras ainayim e-mails (see #204 - 207 on this page) are true, because I sure need some extra help to secure a job and a house now. But in spite of all these worries, I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment in that I am aware that this is a time of weakness for me and I must be extra careful from the yetzer hara and not let him sneak in!