How strong am I?
Hi. I just wanted to drop you a nachas note. Almost 3 months ago I had a baby. In the past, when I had a baby and my wife was assur to me, it was no problem, I just did the wrong thing. This time I was determined to see how strong I really am. It was a long haul. A couple of times my wife counted six days and on the 7th she started bleeding all over again. But instead of saying "oh now for sure I have an excuse to act out" I said "Hashem is forcing the 90 days on me and he knows how many days I need in order to really fix myself", and so I held out. Over the weeks it got a lot easier, until it came to a point where I was looking forward for my wife to become tahor - not because of relations we would have, but because I truly missed her. I began to see her in a different light, as a human being, someone Hashem gave to be close to and enjoy each others company. Well after 10 weeks and finally the day came. It was a beautiful experience and guilt free. I'm so proud of myself. Thank you!