Tuesday, 17 January 2012

A Big Mazal Tov to an anonymous user of our site upon reaching 90 days!

An anonymous user of our site shared with me some of his story yesterday, upon reaching 90 days clean:

by Anonymous (See all authors)

Rabbi Binyamen Eisenberger Shlita demands that even those that just come to his shul for some shiurim must sign up to the Covenanteyes program with him getting the reports - at his expense! And he saw that I had a problem and confronted me. Even with his warnings, I couldn't stop. He pointed out to me that I am .... .... .... yes, that word, "addicted". He sent me to GYE..... & the rest is history!!!!

Before GYE, I had a Yahoo account with all my 'passwords' saved... I also had a DVD with over 900 images saved on it. Since I started posting on the GYE forum, I didn't go through them again, but I didn't have the guts to get rid of them either. I was hoping behind the scenes that this GYE thingy will pass & I will still make use of them. After all, in the past years I did 'Teshuvah' countless times. Sometimes I even threw away DVDS that I bought without even watching them. But I kept the Yahoo account (talk about contradictions!)

After a few weeks in GYE, & speaking to my Rav/(friend), I gathered the courage to make the cut-off complete. I deleted the Yahoo account & broke the DVD into two. I saved the broken disk because I wanted to burn it with the Chometz on Erev Pesach.

The second & third weeks of GYE and abstaining from looking at shmutz were the hardest for me. I doubted that I will be able to keep it up long term.

Afterwards, it seemed almost like the Yetzer Harah forgot my address, Boruch Hashem. (I am nervous that he is just lying low & preparing a surprise attack. I hope to stay vigilant, thereby eliminating the element of surprise!)

To give an example of how far I've come, my wife wants to go to the Catskills for the summer months this year. She consulted with a mentor and he didn't want to give an answer without speaking to me first. He asked me what will be with my "inyanei kedusha" for those two months? (He knows all about my nisyonos already). I told him that I am at day 82 (which is where I was holding on the day I spoke to him), and that I was not afraid of being home alone! THANKS TO GYE!!!