Monday, 23 January 2012

Mazal Tov to "SilentBattle" for reaching 90 Days and getting on to the "Wall of Honor"!

SilentBattle is an older Bochur who has been very inspiring to us all. He spends tons of time each day posting inspiration to help keep others strong. May Hashem bless him to go from strength to strength and continue inspiring us for a long time to come!

by Silent Battle (See all authors)

Here is SilentBattle's first post:

Hi. I call myself "SilentBattle" because these are battles that we all fight silently, on some level or another. There is no public honor. The plaques on the wall that declare our victories are in Heaven.

For me in particular, I feel like my social network overall is rather limited, let alone people who actually know about this struggle. Often I feel like I'm fighting alone... I need to remember that Hashem is with me, like a silent partner. Also, now that I have this forum I am not really alone anymore!

My current battle is on a lower level than a lot of other people here. I've been involved in unhealthy, non-halachically correct relationships. I have set myself certain goals to help avoid this, and with Hashem's help, I've been succeeding.

My first step was to sign up for the daily chizuk emails, so that every day, I get two emails from GYE. It's a reminder in my inbox of what my goals are.

I've also started going to a therapist that specializes in addiction. Although my acting out was on a lower level than most of you here, there's no reason that I shouldn't try for the full-fledged WOH commitment. Because that's definitely a good thing, if I can do it. So we'll see how it goes.

I plan on checking out the two handbooks over the next few days, either printing them out, or putting a copy on my private computer.

 

Some time into his journey, someone asks 'SilentBattle' to what he attributes his current success:

Well let's see... I read the chizuk emails and use the forum (posting here forces me to consider what I'm feeling, what's going on, etc.). I go to therapy, stay in touch with my Rebbe about my progress (I've also filled out a release form allowing my therapist to talk to my Rebbe - after all, he's my spiritual adviser, I want him to know where I'm at), and I have a friend that I've opened up to. And, of course, I daven for help.

I've also started reading the handbooks, but haven't finished them yet. (I know, I should... working on it).

For now, all this seems to be helping. Boruch Hashem!

 

Two posts from SilentBattle on his journey to 90 days:

B"H, Hashem is still helping me be strong, I'm moving forward, going back and saying final goodbyes, even to people that I haven't spoken to in a while, so I know that it's over and done with. Deleting emails by the hundreds (sometimes, by the thousands), as I clear out this part of my life.

 

More and more, I'm starting to realize what an honor it is to be part of this brigade of holy warriors!

Yesterday I was faced with a difficult nisayon - I got an email saying that I'd received a message from another user on a site I'd signed up for a while back. I went to the site, and for a few seconds, considered replying... and then spent a lot longer than that figuring out how to delete my profile. Thank you Hashem, thank you GYE!

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