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Dov's Story - and the Deep Lessons He Learned

This is a long piece by Dov, but well worth reading. If it's easier, print it out and read at your leisure. (See the bottom for a short summary of the main Yesodos that I understood from Dov's words)

GYE Corp. Wednesday, 01 February 2012
Part 4/4 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

I forwarded Dov's post to Rabbi Twerski and wrote as follows:

Dear Rabbi Twerski,

I would greatly appreciate if the Rav could read through this piece by "Dov"... Today Dov is sober in SA for over 10 years and he posts very wise advice on our forum almost every day. However, his approach may sound a little "strange" to some, as it "seems" to go against some of the standard things we are taught in mainstream Yiddishkeit (perhaps). That is why I'd be most curious to hear the Rav's take on the issue.


Rabbi Twerski Replied:

I think that Dov's statement that one needs to focus primarily on being with Hashem and doing what Hashem wants, and to stop preoccupation with the yetzer hara is valid. The rebbe of Kotzk said, "An aveira is like mud. Whichever way you handle the mud, you get dirty."



In response, "Yechida" posted on the forum a similar quote from the Tanya (volume 1, Perek 28):

"In response to a bad thought, do not reply at all, no argument or answer whatsoever, for he who wrestles with a Menuval is bound to become soiled himself (misnavel gam ken)."


In response to Dov's post, someone wrote:

I think it's an interesting approach. If one can do it, I think it is certainly ideal, but I don't think I have what it takes to do this. It's just not realistic for me to transform my thought process to that approach. Maybe if I work on it little by little I will eventually get there, but that is probably a lifetime's work, and frankly, I don't have that much time. I need freedom from lust NOW.


Personally, I think this approach is a lot easier and quicker than "struggling with the Yetzer Hara" all the time. We simply need to learn to ignore the struggle and say: "this struggle might be good for others, but I can't deal with it at all, because I am lust-addict. Instead, I leave the whole "struggle issue" to Hashem. It's His business. For me, lust is a distraction, that's all. It distracts me from my "outward" focus and from doing Hashem's will for me today, to the best of my ability."

The 12-Step approach that Dov is sharing with us, makes freedom from the addiction a lot easier than those who are always having epic-"struggles" with their lust (and ultimately falling).

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