Question: Journalists and psychologists are quick to describe someone as being a porn "addict". Is there strong scientific research that shows such addictions actually exists?
Some researchers claim that broad exposure to sex has many positive benefits perceived by modern society, and they accuse therapists, who are looking for a way to label problematic sexual behavior to be pathologizing the sexual activities of many people who enjoy sex as a form of entertainment or personal growth. They also claim that it provides a legal outlet for illegal sexual behaviors or desires, and its consumption or availability has been associated with a decrease in sex offenses, especially child molestation.
My rebuttal to the first part is that this is really no different than alcohol, which is used by people for religious rituals, a way to celebrate the Superbowl, or even a way to relax when returning home from work by downing a Martini; while at the same time, we recognize those addicted to alcohol as a problem and give it a label.
All we are trying to do is give a name to observable phenomena in a particular person who reports to us how sexual behavior is destroying his life and seeking our help. It is not the sex destroying his life but the way he is having that sex.
As mentioned in the article above, we are talking about people who are preoccupied with sex/porn to the exclusion of other things, more than intended, with persistent desire to stop, continuing in the face of adverse consequences, and who are suffering. Remember the old dictum “it’s not what you do but how you do it”.
Even if it is not classified as an addiction, it is still a serious problem that ruins people’s lives. It is not even a rare problem but one that is so common that it affects many people that you and I know. It is one of the fastest growing health problems in the world, and it is devastating our community in particular.
People read this article and say “oh-it’s not an addiction-it must just be a lack of morals or an illusion in the guy’s mind, a pervert or a slut.” This happens frequently with the people & therapists that I talk to & I think it is an atrocity and unfair to the people that suffer with this problem. The people taking the other side of this debate are not emphasizing enough that whatever it is called, it is a problem that needs and deserves our attention and not our judgment and castigation. It is still sickness and not a "badness" or "weakness". Even if you hold it’s not a chicken, at least remember to mention that it is a first cousin to the chicken; much like the Zabu is a relative of the cow.
Sexual Addiction is a real problem, and it responds very well to an addiction treatment model (that’s a fact). If it walks like a chicken and talks like a chicken, it probably IS a chicken.
I also think that for the Jewish people it is helpful to call it an addiction, whether it is really a proper chicken or even just a 1st cousin to the chicken. The risk of not doing so is that people with “porn addiction” do not receive help that they deserve as people and as Jews.
Also, in case you want to just call it “NOS” (Not Otherwise Specified), I’ll add that for some people, the most important part of their early recovery was being able to learn a name for their struggle and use it to find their path towards recovery.
As far as the claim that porn use has been associated with a decrease in sex offenses, research has shown that it is precisely the exposure to porn that is causing these problems (see this recent shocking article as an example), and that in porn, people and sex are portrayed as objects. The poorest messages in the world are taught by porn.
This view is also diametrically opposed to Torah values. According to halacha (see Even Haezer 21-22-23-24):
1- it is forbidden to look at pornography of any type; soft core, hard core, animals, man on man, lesbian, etc.
2- it is forbidden to look at women in order to enjoy oneself even if the person being viewed is modestly dressed
3-it is forbidden to look at provocative clothing under almost all circumstances, even if no one is wearing it
4-it is forbidden to think sexual thoughts on purpose, even about one’s own partner
5-etc. etc. etc.
Pornography has no place for Jews. Halacha, namely the Shulchan Aruch, clearly outlaws exploring sexuality via pornography, multiple partners, fantasies, masturbation, etc. etc.
We have no reason to uphold those who endorse freely look at pornography with claims of pleasure and personal growth, but we DO have a reason to name this problem with labels like “sexual addiction” in order to ensure that members of our community can get the help they need .