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Vezos-Habrachah

“Please Grow up, My Child”

“Please Grow up, My Child”

If lust offered real happiness, would Hashem ask of His children to give up something really wonderful and precious? But it’s not that the Satan offers us something good and Hashem just offers us something better. The Satan was simply given the power to fool us. He is jus...
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The Day of Hod Shebeyesod

The Day of Hod Shebeyesod

A member wrote to us today: Today is hod shebeyesod in the sefira count. I won't pretend I understand what that really means. But it resonated for me, on my simple level. Yesod refers to building the foundation of our lives: kedushas habris. And Hod is hodaah, expressing ...
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A Deal with the Yetzer

I'm a sincere guy who really just wants to do Hashem's well. Like most men, I have a daily battle with my yetzer hora. Mostly it's about fantasies, and letting my mind wander into the wrong places. Sometimes, it creeps into my behavior, like when I've just viewed a perfec...
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Your Will, not mine, be done!

Your Will, not mine, be done!

I was feeling really down recently. I mean REALLY down. The type of down that the y''h jumps on you and tries to get you as depressed as possible so you can just give up and do aveiros. 
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Safe with GYE

Safe with GYE

You all give me tremendous chizuk, so I wanted to give chizuk back to everyone who’s part of the GYE family!  I used to think I was alone in this struggle and I was such a rosho and I would suffer for the rest of my life for all the terrible disgusting aveiros I've done. I could never go more than 1 day clean, and every time I fell, it gave me more and more despair and sadness.
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Looking Up

Looking Up

The things we absorb in childhood unfortunately continue with us, unless we make efforts to change them. One thing that is universal among children, is that they compare themselves to other children, and are always jealous of what others have that they don’t. You're always looking at what somebody else has that you want. First, it’s a doll, then it’s a dress, then it’s a husband, then it’s a baby carriage, then it’s a vacation.
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First Yom Kippur Without Guilt

First Yom Kippur Without Guilt

I happened to read in the Kaf Hachaim (5) that Vasikin is mechaper for Zera L'vatala! What hashgacha pratis! Hashem obviously wanted me to daven vasikin to send me a sign that my Teshuva is accepted!
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When is enough enough?

When is enough enough?

Many people tell me that I am not an addict. After all, has my addictive behaviors caused terrible harm and consequences? Have I lost my whole family?  Have I contracted AIDS? Have I given someone else a sexually transmitted disease?
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Part of me

Part of me

Ready for a philosophical discussion? Listen: every part of me makes up the real me. The only question is what I attribute importance to, but they’re all part of me. If even one part were different, I would be different. Okay? Okay. The struggles we face are a huge part o...
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Every moment of restraint

Every moment of restraint

Incredible vort on Megilas Rus. The Alshich Hakadosh brings that Machlon was zoche that through the "yibum" of Boaz, Machlon's neshama came back in Oved - the grandfather of Dovid Hamelech. And his almanah Rus produced malchus. What zchus did he have? And why not his brot...
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Dare to believe

Dare to believe

Ester, my dear child,it's tough. Life's tough. It's how I created This World. But so are you. Tougher than you think you are. I know how tough it is, and I know how much you're hurting. I feel your pain. Nevertheless, I'm disappointed in you. Not for failing, no, I create...
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A night-time meditation

A night-time meditation

Rigzu - get mad at your Yetzer. If that doesn't work, then fix your mind on - V’al techta’u - I will not sin, no matter what. Imru bilvavchem al mishkavchem - make a physical Siman or barrier on your bed, and then - Vedomu - lie stone-still, don't move, even to the point ...
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Rejecting the Unholy

Rejecting the Unholy

Interestingly, many of us here have had difficulty staying clean over Yom Tov and immediately after Yom Tov. Whether it is the lack of regular structure, too much free time, or being around well dressed female guests, the emotional highs we get on Yom Tov require us to pl...
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You can't have it both ways

Lately, I've been trying to train myself to react to any trial by asking a simple question, "Which is more important to me, Olam Hazeh or Olam Haba?” The answer, obviously, is the latter. This goes back to a Moshol I saw many years ago in the Chovos HaLevavos, comparing t...
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As much as He believes in you

As much as He believes in you

When the Rebbe of Aleksander, HY”D, was being led to his death, he explained this Possuk: “L'hagid baboker chasdecha v'emunascha baleilos.” Meforshim explain, he said, when it is ‘morning’ - bright and comfortable - we praise Hashem for His kindness; when it is ‘night’ - ...
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Ahavas Yisroel for the effort

Recently, a story has been going around, told over by one of the roshei yeshiva of Chofetz Chaim in New York. The story is incredible, and I will try to give it over as best as possible because the message is very applicable to you and me. A boy in Bnei Brak, unfortunate...
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My personal 12 Steps

These are the 12 steps I took to get me to 90 days clean: - I have installed an accountability software on all my devices with an accountability partner - I am reading the GYE newsletter almost daily - I have blocked Internet on my phone (which is an old phone). - I have...
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Blaming G-d

I'm sorry you feel that way. My life (of well over four decades) has been surrounded by sickness, death, hospitals, disease, pain, therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, jail, anguish, danger, and more, and by this I am including parents and grandparents (young ones), spouse...
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